These Are The Beloved Car Movies That Actually Suck

“Anytime a 4,000+ pound inanimate object has more charisma and emotional range than the lead actor(s). That would make it most car movies. But my pick: Vanishing Point.

“Granted, it did have a lot of interesting “aspects” in small doses from a film-making viewpoint -aka it becomes technically academic but watching the whole thing and taking it seriously can only be managed by a heavily medicated boomer.”

Released in 1971, Vanishing Point follows a car delivery driver who tries to take a Dodge Challenger from Colorado to California. The crew used eight Challengers while filming it, but that wasn’t enough to keep this movie exciting.

Suggested by: futuredoc

“The first Mad Max is really bland, ngl. The second is much better and had a lot better pacing and story, but the first is just paced so poorly.”

The breakout movie for Mel Gibson, Mad Max follows a highway patrolman in a dystopian Australia of the future. Despite spawning multiple excellent sequels, the first Mad Max movie is worth a miss if this commenter is to be believed.

Suggested by: Chris Davidson (Facebook)

“I’ll take the bait - the Fast And Furious movies. They’re not good car movies. In fact, I’d argue they’re not even car movies, they’re just heist movies that, for the first few installations, hopped on the tuner car bandwagon and used street racing as a plot point (literally only the first film.)

“As far as their worth as heist movies...I’d argue they’re pretty fun.”

What would Point Break be like if it was set in cars? That’s the question nobody asked, but The Fast And The Furious set out to answer. This 2001 film is now more than 20 years old, so can almost be described as a classic. But, maybe pick one of its nine follow up films for your festive entertainment this holiday season.

Suggested by: itsyourboyhobbes

“The Cannonball Run series. Awesome cars, awesome stunts, but awful acting and writing, especially Part II. The humor is both forced and bland, and almost all of the actors all seem like they didn’t want to be there and were phoning it in (Jackie Chan and Dom DeLuise notwithstanding). But credit to Hal Needham, he was a talented stunt driver and coordinator who also became a full film director.”

Following the infamous high-speed race across the country, 1981’s Cannonball Run has very little plot except for “drive fast, don’t get caught.” Still, it might be worth watching just to catch a glimpse of star cars like the Aston Martin DB5, Ferrari 308 GTS or Lamborghini Countach.

Suggested by: George Lisker Roath (Facebook)

“I had a hard time staying awake during The French Connection and had to actually look up and confirm that the car chase I’d just watched was really “that amazing car chase” because I was extremely underwhelmed.”

1971s The French Connection is maybe more of a crime film than a car movie, but its car chase is often cited as one of the best. But, for this poster, seeing Detective Jimmy Doyle (played by Gene Hackman) cruising round the streets of New York in a brown Pontiac wasn’t enough to save this movie.

Suggested by: twdc

“The original The Italian Job takes the overrated cake. It’s like a gritty version of It’s a Mad Mad Mad World. It sucks but not as bad as the remake (the mark of a true overrated classic).”

They might have blown the bloody doors off, but 1969’s The Italian Job didn’t blow this poster’s mind. The British action flick follows a group of criminals who try to steal a shipment of gold in old Minis. Fun, but not worth a re-watch.

Suggested by: thewalk1ngdude

“Bullitt and Gone In 60 Seconds (1974). These movies have nothing without their car chases and that’s quite overdone in Gone in 60 Seconds.”

Another film that earned an early 2000s remake is Gone In 60 Seconds. In the 1974 original, car thief Maindrian Pace tries to steal 48 cars for a South American drug lord. The movie culminates in Pace attempting to evade police while he steals a 1973 Ford Mustang, nicknamed Eleanor.

Suggested by: Richard Hoffman (Facebook)

“Gung Ho. Jason Torchinsky was the guest on our podcast for that movie, and it was a bit painful for us to go back and watch this one years later. It has its moments, but even Michael Keaton can’t make the protagonist character likeable, unions are portrayed horribly and many of the characters we are supposed to love are painfully racist (and I’m not talking by woke standards).”

Not an action-packed car chase movie, but no doubt a movie about cars. In Gung Ho, a Japanese car maker purchases an American car plant. According to Bloomberg Businessweek, Toyota later used the film as an example of how not to manage Americans.

Suggested by: sidbridge

“The Love Bug. No Beetle I ever drove could do half the shit that car did.”

I’m still waiting for VW to pack the latest Beetle with some of the features that came as standard on Herbie.

Suggested by: Mitch Grady (Facebook)

“Shuto Kosoku ToraiAru, also known as Shuto Trials, also known as Freeway Speedway, also known as Megalopolis Expressway Trial. The first movie was a horrible movie where street racing actually was encouraged and you can keep your engine stock and reprogram your ECU to outclass any other car.

“The follow up movies did the exact opposite: street racing is bad and Keiichi Tsuchiya is guarding the quality of the mods. It’s a pity this makes the storylines corny and dull. The only reason to watch is to see all 1990s JDM halo cars in their natural habitat!”

Released between 1988 and 1996, this series of six films follows illegal street racers in Japan. The first film in the series, produced by Nikkatsu, was initially banned from release in Japan in cinemas, due to the racing featured in the film.

Suggested by: banpei