These Are the Absolute Worst Automotive Holiday Gifts

These Are the Absolute Worst Automotive Holiday Gifts

Please, I'm begging you, stop buying all Car Enthusiasts the same exact books.

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An entire car, however, is always a fantastic idea.
An entire car, however, is always a fantastic idea.
Photo: ALI YUSSEF/AFP (Getty Images)

December is nearly here, which means that most folks are going to look at the calendar tomorrow and realize they have a lot of holiday shopping left to do. If you have a car enthusiast in your life — or if you’re the enthusiast who just wants everyone to stop buying you garbage — then this list will tell you exactly what not to buy.

We asked you all yesterday just what you’d hate being given for the holidays — and these are the worst of the worst.

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O Stinky Tree

O Stinky Tree

Do you smell that? It smells like freedom.
Do you smell that? It smells like freedom.
Photo: Greg Kahn (Getty Images)

A 3 pack of the Black Ice Little Trees. It says not only does your car stink, but you’re only worth a few bucks.

The Little Trees Black Ice air fresheners smell like every mistake you can make as a woman. Ask me how I know.

Submitted by: John Turner via Facebook

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Boring-Ass Books

Boring-Ass Books

I picked this photo because Tom Petty sucks.
I picked this photo because Tom Petty sucks.
Photo: Roger Kisby (Getty Images)

Books, in particular those books filled with pretty pictures but little information.

I have several dozen of these received as gifts over the years, several of them duplicates, given to me by well-meaning friends and family who know I am a ‘car guy.’

AAMOF, I reveived this exact book from an aunt two Christmases in a row.

[picture of Muscle Cars: Kings of the Street from the Golden Era]

While these types of books are interesting, and I appreciate the gesture, I rarely look at them after the first time flipping through. From then on, they just take up space on my book shelf.

I willingly went to extra school specifically to read more books, but this one hits home. There are so many automotive books out there that are just what this commenter describes: photos and nonsense. In a world of excellent books, why spend your money buying someone garbage?

Submitted by: Earthbound Misfit I

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Gas (and Accessories)

Gas (and Accessories)

The real Fuel Shark is the money we spent along the way.
The real Fuel Shark is the money we spent along the way.
Photo: Mario Tama (Getty Images)

Fuelshark

Or, on a related note: A gas station gift card. Can you be more impersonal?

I’m filling everyone’s stockings with Fuel Sharks this year. I mean, did you see those gas prices?

Submitted by: Unacceptably Dry Scones

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No Decoration, Please

No Decoration, Please

Image for article titled These Are the Absolute Worst Automotive Holiday Gifts
Photo: Tom Keck (Getty Images)

A stick-on decal when I have no stick-on decals. A magnet can be fine, but if someone has no stickers on their car they probably want to keep it that way.

That or useful things that don’t actually match your car. Like a steering wheel cover, seat cover, floor mats, etc that don’t fit your car because they thought it was one size fits all.

I relate to this one, engineerthefuture. I hate putting stickers directly on anything, whether it’s my car or my laptop. Hence why I’ve ended up with bumper stickers stuck to a shitty laptop protector case.

Submitted by: engineerthefuture

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(Un)Clean

(Un)Clean

Lemme just get that spot for you...
Lemme just get that spot for you...
Photo: Emma McIntyre (Getty Images)


Car cleaning products. I’m picky about what I use and when I use different things, I don’t want the generic mixed bucket of TurtleWax (not slaming their products as do use some, just naming one size fits all gift set) stuff from Wal-Mart. Unless I request something specific when asked don’t buy me anything car cleaning related besides maybe some microfiber towels as can use for stuff around the house at least. I will ask for things when needed, one year I asked for a new buffer as my old one had died, I was very happy and grateful to receive the one I asked for as it was for my primary tool battery ecosystem, it wasn’t a huge surprise but it was not a wasted gift as exactly what I wanted.

TLDR: If someone loves their car don’t get them buckets of washes, waxes, or cleaners they don’t want.

I’ve always seen car cleaning kits as being the automotive equivalent of gifting someone a skincare kit. I have specific needs and goals that a generic Bath & Body Works soap pack simply cannot meet.

Submitted by: CitronC

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Cap It

Cap It

But the logo just says “class.”
But the logo just says “class.”
Photo: Emma McIntyre (Getty Images)

[Literally just a photo of a Porsche hat]

A man of taste and class, I see.

Submitted by: BrianMadigan

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Brand Me

Brand Me

Image for article titled These Are the Absolute Worst Automotive Holiday Gifts
Photo: MARCO BERTORELLO/AFP (Getty Images)


I’m gonna go with branded apparel for a car you don’t actually own.

Unless you’re getting me a Mopar Christmas sweater. Then I will accept.

Submitted by: Shaun Swegman via Facebook

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It’s Not Hard

It’s Not Hard

That short-ass cable isn’t going to help you now.
That short-ass cable isn’t going to help you now.
Photo: MARCO BERTORELLO/AFP (Getty Images)

People who buy new cars as gifts probably aren’t concerned about 5-figure transactions.

My vote is those cheap parts store emergency kits. Shitty flashlight? Check. Tiny, worthless blanket? Check. Four bandaids? Check. 12v air compressor that will burn out trying to inflate one flat tire? Check. 3-ft long jumper cables? Check.

You could put together a kit with actually-useful versions of everything you normally find in these things, and it might cost you twice the price.

Honestly, there are so many awesome and helpful automotive emergency items that I just don’t understand the shitty ones. I bought my mom a self jump starter, and she’s called me to tell me how it’s saved her butt multiple times.

Submitted by: Ticallion The Baptist

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Cover Me

Cover Me

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Photo: FAYEZ NURELDINE/AFP (Getty Images)

A steering wheel cover. Pointless.

This is a big recommendation when you’re shopping for women who like cars. Why??????

Submitted by: Tom Gaydos via Facebook

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Harbor Freight It Is

Harbor Freight It Is

Even Ferrari hates shitty tools.
Even Ferrari hates shitty tools.
Photo: FAYEZ NURELDINE/AFP (Getty Images)

Shitty tools. I do not want anything from Harbor Freight unless I selected it myself knowing exactly what I plan to do with it.

Tools are so personal. You can’t just be buying them for people willy-nilly.

Submitted by: skwimjim

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Not the Electric Waves!!

Not the Electric Waves!!

Image for article titled These Are the Absolute Worst Automotive Holiday Gifts
Photo: Guillermo MUNOZ / AFP (Getty Images)

The EMP shield. $500 for what is like a couple wires going to some LEDs in a plastic box. That is Unless your friend or family is an Alex Jones/Q type then it’s probably the best gift ever.

I don’t know that I trust any product manufactured by “Mission America.”

Submitted by: HotSauceIsTheBest

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Anything But That!!!!!

Anything But That!!!!!

Perhaps I could interest you in a tiny BMW instead.
Perhaps I could interest you in a tiny BMW instead.
Photo: Hunter Martin (Getty Images)


A used BMW

I’d prefer coal.

Submitted by: Saxon Winther via Facebook



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Call the Cops (But Not for Me)

Call the Cops (But Not for Me)

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Photo: Jorge Rey/Liaison (Getty Images)

A ticket.

Are you speaking from experience?

Submitted by: Knyte

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NOTHING.

NOTHING.

Image for article titled These Are the Absolute Worst Automotive Holiday Gifts
Photo: Wikimedia Commons

Anything.

Like, I get the psychology behind finding that perfect gift for someone, but that’s more for the gift-giver, not the receiver. But I’m so picky when it comes to what I buy for myself, that I don’t wish that kind of stress on anyone else. If you want to get me something “car related”, get me an Auto Zone gift card like my wife’s grandma got me last year.

My love language is gift giving. You’re gonna take your damn gift, and you’re gonna like it (but I will admittedly have thought deeply ahead of time about exactly what I am purchasing you based on hints or analyzing your interests so there is a great chance that it’s something you will value)!

Submitted by: dbeach84

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