The Ten Most Brotastic Vehicles

Bros don't love cars like they love plaid shorts, spray tans, and secretly touching the junk of other bros, but they have them. And with your help, we've identified the ten most brotastic cars.


This is Answers of the Day - where we take the best ten responses from the previous day's "Question Of The Day". It's by you and for you, the Jalopnik readers.

If you want to see this post in one long page click here.

10.) Mercedes CLS On Dubs

Suggested by: KinoEscalate

Wha Brah? Part coupe/part sedan, it's normally just a moderately attractive choice of car for divorcees. Throw on some obnoxiously large wheels and it's the perfect bromobile for a wealthy tool who thinks he's urban because he likes Kristal and listens to Eminem.


9.) Infiniti G35

Suggested by: ShebangCairns

Wha Brah? Infiniti's a great name for this car, because that's roughly how long it'll take a Bro to get some slam pieces to be impressed by a G35. Unless you convince them it's a GT-R.


Photo Credit DragTimes


8.) Jeep Grand Cherokee

Suggested by: Dopefish

Wha Brah? Trail rated, for sure, but Bros stay away from the bush. Manscaping, brah, you gotta do it.


7.) Newer BMW

Suggested by: V12Mind

Wha Brah? Old BMWs are owned by people who love cars. New BMWs are sometimes owned by people who love cars, but typically owned by guys who really want a car as misshapen and muscular as their calf-implants.


6.) Ford Broncos

Suggested by: TuckFypos

Wha Brah? The people you didn't like in high school probably drove slightly lifted Broncos, and now they've grown up and bought... lifted Broncos. It's the official car of jerks* and murderers.


*Old Broncos are cool. Like, really old Broncos.

Photo Credit: IMCDB

5.) Hyundais

Suggested by: IfIOnlyHadTheMoney

Wha Brah? These "wooo Bros" have chosen a Hyundai, and this is an important point: all Bros waste money, not all Bros have money to waste. Sometimes you gotta go with what you can afford, and Hyundai's making cars that are cheap and ridiculously overstyled. Just like Bros!


4.) A Cab

Suggested by: ament001

Wha Brah? Too much bottle service. DUIs brah.


3.) V6 Automatic Mustangs

Suggested by: gm0n3y

Wha Brah? We'll let ECfromMI explain: "Bros don't drive GT500s, the manual is too much of a hassle. V6 automatics are the way too go, you can cruise without having to put down your 'Jager Bomb' and flip off the haterz. Plus, bitches can't tell the difference yo!"


2.) Flashy Motorcycles In Cargo Shorts

Suggested by: 427CID, BotswanaMeat

Wha Brah? You can't enjoy a bike if it doesn't have some body art, brah. Yo, and it's always a better experience in a tacky helmet, wife beater, cargo shorts and flip-flops. Hop on back bro, nullus.


1.) Lifted Chevy Truck

Suggested by: Everybody

Wha Brah? The almost unanimous choice of the brostorians from Bro' day is a lifted Chevy truck. It says everything a Bro needs to say: I'm wasteful, I'm obnoxious, I'm in desperate need of attention. You know how much Four Loco I can hold in here? Just don't forget the TAPOUT sticker. TAPOUT. YARRRRRR!


Photo Credit: Gtardted

Share This Story

Get our newsletter