The Ten Cars With The Most Misleading Names

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Car makers love to give promising names to their latest models, but sometimes the product doesn't match the expectations of the badge. Here are the ten most misleading car names ever.


10.) Mercedes-Benz 6.3

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German carmakers are lying to you. Especially Mercedes-Benz:

Mercedes E63, C63, R63, S63 and every other Merc XYZ63. They are ALL 6.2's, and share nothing in common with the venerable 6.3L upon which they are trying to trade.

There might be misnamed cars that are 'funnier', but this was the beginning of the breakdown of honesty from the Germans, which begat cars like the current 328/528 BMW's, the 335, etc etc, none of which have the displacement indicated by their badges, which instead try to hark back to their glory days. Even Audi is trying to play the game with their supercharged 3.oT. T??? It's got a Thupercharger? Well that's just thuper! Big Gay Al might approve, but I don't.

Ergo, Merc's fall from grace was the beginning of the end of honesty-in-naming from the Germans...

Suggested By: maximum_sarge, Photo Credit: Daimler

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9.) Dodge Avenger

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Regular Car Reviews sums up the Avenger as "the car for those who pretty much had it with cars". This retail sports sedan couldn't avenge shit. And Chrysler knows that.

Suggested By: Johnatan Woodall, Photo Credit: Chrysler

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8.) Lincoln Town Car

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You would think a "town car" is something small like a Smart. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Then again, maybe it all depends on how you look at it. If the name should suggest that the Lincoln is close to a town in size, it's spot on.

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Suggested By: Kate's Dirty Sister, Photo Credit: Ford

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7.) Chrysler Concorde

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The Concorde jet was so ahead of its time that flying actually got slower since it was withdrawn from service. Chrysler tried to capitalize on that by naming a boring sedan after it.

Suggested By: The Stig's Rustbelt Cousin, Photo Credit: Chrysler

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6.) Chevrolet Celebrity Eurosport

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It wasn't sporty or European, celebrities weren't among its buyers, and if you happened to own one, it was sure hard to find a reason for celebration.

Suggested By: ranwhenparked, Photo Credit: GM/aldenjewell

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5.) Suzuki Swift

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What you know as the Geo Metro is originally called the Suzuki Swift, and apart from the reasonably fast sporty version, it just wasn't.

Suggested ByThe Stig's Rustbelt Cousin, Photo Credit: Suzuki/aldenjewell

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4.) BMW Gran Coupe

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Some sights you never forget, especially if it's a coupe with four doors.

Suggested By:Arch Duke Maxyenko, Great Job, Photo Credit: BMW

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3.) Chevy Sprint

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MontegoMan562:

More like "Jog" or "Walk"

Blondude:

More like "Limp" or "Stumble"

What's the fastest speed you've achieved in a Chevy Sprint?

Suggested By: unhcampus, Photo Credit: GM/aldenjewell

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2.) Triumph Acclaim

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Forget the Plymouth Acclaim, this is worse. It's a Honda Ballade badge-engineered by British Leyland to become a Triumph you couldn't possibly acclaim.

Suggested By: solracer, Photo Credit: Triumph/Hugo90

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1.) Daewoo Racer/Pontiac Le Mans

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The Opel Kadett made it to both Korea and the US as the Racer and the last LeMans. I don't know which version was worse, but Pontiac would be a fair guess.

Suggested By: thedriver, Photo Credit: GM

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Welcome back to Answers of the Day - our daily Jalopnik feature where we take the best ten responses from the previous day's Question of the Day and shine it up to show off. It's by you and for you, the Jalopnik readers. Enjoy!

Top Photo Credit: GM via aldenjewell

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DISCUSSION

GarageWoolery
GarageWoolery

What's the fastest speed you've achieved in a Chevy Sprint?

Ironically (despite my owning a few exotics), the Chevy Sprint is the fastest car I've ever driven on public roads. Long story, but here goes...

So it was during my high school years, and my Dad bought a Chevy Sprint for me to drive. It was meant as a cost saving measure (gas, insurance), and to keep me from getting too crazy with the driving (due to the car's obvious anemic nature). Despite this, my youth addled mind modded this car...lowering it, installing aftermarket wheels/tires, fabricating a front air dam and side skirts from hardware store materials, etc.

I also drove it like a typical stupid highschooler, recklessly endangering my life without a second thought. I regularly tested the top speed capabilities of this car, and was seldom ever able to get it faster than 80mph...

...until one day, while taking the car to visit my brother at George AFB (now defunct), I found myself coming down the back side of I-15 on the Cajon Pass. The Cajon Pass is well known for being very windy. On this particular evening, the wind was very high and was at my back.

It was a long, steep, downhill run with a hazardously powerful tailwind. Conditions couldn't be better, and the only logical thing to do was to try to see how fast I could take my Sprint under these conditions...so I floored it (EDIT: actually, it was already floored. It was ALWAYS floored...that was the only way to keep up with traffic under any conditions anyway).

Something you need to know about the Chevy Sprint. The speedometer only indicates to 90mph (last number on the speedo is 85), and doesn't have a peg in it. Apparently the engineers who designed the car felt (rightly so) that the car wouldn't ever reach a peg on the speedo, so one was never put there. I realized this when I passed 90mph...

...and right about 90mph or so is when I ran into the first speed shudder zone. The steering wheel started to wriggle and vibrate in my hands, and the car felt a little unsettled. But that didn't scare me one bit, and I pressed on past 90mph...

...things settled a bit and the car continued to accelerate, then the second speed shudders started to occur at what I'd estimate was around 110mph or so. I could only estimate this because the speedo needle was off the scale and was now pointing straight down. These shudders were more powerful than the first, and I started to get a little scared—but stupidity demands action, and I kept the pedal pressed firmly to the floor...

The third speed shudder zone was a damned violent; a white knuckle, dry mouth fear inducing thing, but the speed kept climbing (though more slowly this time). I had run out of tailwind at about 100mph or so, and the engine was absolutely screaming at higher RPM's than I'd ever heard from under the hood before. Visions of the movie "The Right Stuff" went through my mind, and, just like in the movie...

...the shuddering stopped. The ride became quiet. Things calmed down, and the speedo topped out at an indicated 30mph. My guess, based on the scale of the rest of the gauge, put me at an estimated 130mph!

Then, just as all the conditions wore out, the land flattened, the wind died out, and the Sprint hit the aerodynamic wall of reality that would slow it down to it's plebian existence, a beautiful thing happened. I kid you not. I passed a Porsche 930.

The look on the Porsche driver's face was priceless.

I now own several exotics, including an Ariel, a Lotus, and yes, a Porsche...but out of respect for that one epic, stupid, hilarious moment I have not since driven any of my cars on the street faster than I have my Chevy Sprint back in 1987. After all, that would ruin a really good story.

(picture of the car with my stupid high school self lurking inside, circa 1987)