The Gayest Cars In The Los Angeles Pride Parade Ranked

Queer folks love cars. I'm a part of a friend group with a lot of self-proclaimed car gays, and when you work in the automotive world you quickly learn that it's a very queer space. That was a pleasant surprise for me when I first joined Mercedes-Benz Research and Development as a test driver years ago, and the longer I spend in the industry the more queer it seems to get. Shoutout to all the queer and trans car folks out there — you're seen, you're heard, you're loved, and you're welcome here. My name is Logan, and I identify as a queer, non-binary person who uses all pronouns, and I'd like to wish you a happy Pride.

I was watching the Los Angeles LGBTQ+ Pride Parade last weekend and decided it was my mission to find the gayest car in the parade. Especially in a car-centric city like Los Angeles, a person's car becomes sort of like their avatar, since so much of our lives happen in cars. There are plenty of stereotypically gay cars — ahem, Miata — but this is a parade, y'all! I wanted to see some razzle dazzle.

This slideshow ranks all the cars I saw in the LA Pride Parade, from least gay to most gay, according to me, a car gay. Please enjoy, and if you have anything mean to say, kindly shove it. Happy Pride everyone!

These two unmarked black SUVs with flashing red and blue lights were definitely the least queer vehicles in the parade. Sure there's a little rainbow seal on the hood, but that's nowhere near enough queerness to make up for the cop car look.

This gray Porsche 911 Carrera S Cabriolet is a beautiful car, but this is a Pride parade, Jennifer. You're going to need a rainbow or something.

Mattel cruised through Pride with this 2018 Chevrolet Camaro Hot Wheels special edition. A toy company like Mattel could have done something so incredibly fun and whimsical but instead entered this rolling bastion of fragile masculinity with two dinky flags perched on the back. It ranks slightly gayer than the 911 because it's a bright color. Do better.

Honda entered the parade with a Prologue and an Acura ZDX that had some decals on them, plus a few Motocompactos zipping around. Another example of a massive company doing the bare minimum. This gets a 3/10 cuz Motocompactos are adorable.

While this Lincoln Continental might not be decked out in rainbow, it's an automotive icon that gets a pass.

White Jeep Wranglers are always pretty gay, but this NASA-themed Wrangler with inflatable pole-dancing aliens sticking out the Freedom Top? Now that's what I call gay.

A rental-spec Chevrolet Traverse wouldn't normally score so high on the gay scale, but Nordstrom decked it out with plenty of rainbows and the Progressive Pride flag. The balloons also added some much-needed flair to this otherwise dull crossover.

I just loved seeing a truck like this in the parade. Usually when you see them on the streets you cower in fear because they're so huge, but it was cool to see one covered in Progress Pride flags. It still could have been gayer, though, and if LADWP really supported the LGBTQ community it would give us queers free utilities for Pride Month. Fake activism.

What you're looking at appears to have started life as a Toyota Tacoma, but as you see it, it's literally suffocated by pride. Even the parts that shouldn't be showing pride (the grille) are still showing pride. I love the commitment to the bit, good work.

A rolling billboard as big as a city bus is the perfect way to show your pride, so might as well just turn a city bus into a parade float. The cute wrap recognizes gay and trans pride, and because of it I learned that the LA Metro has a mascot. The furry guy standing in the door is the Metro mascot, and they're wearing pride shorts, so we're here for it.

Now anyone who argues that this vehicle isn't queer enough to be this high on the list is clearly not gay. For the uninitiated, this is The Abbey's float, a notoriously poppin' gay club in West Hollywood where you'll see famous people, incredible gogo dancers, and pay $25 for a cocktail. I mean, the truck bed is full of muscular gogo dancers in thongs, how could you not love it? Still needs more rainbow, though.

This Hummer H2 wrapped in the Progress Pride flag is very gay, but it lacks pizzazz. I love what the wrap stands for, but if you're in a parade I need to see some flags or balloons or gogo dancers or aliens on a pole. Props for the permanence, though, as I have seen this Hummer around LA when it's not Pride and it stays gay.

I'm not normally a size queen, but I couldn't ignore the scale of this parade entry. An electric semi towing a rainbow shipping container? What a perfect example of virtue signalling and rainbow washing! It's too bad they went with a regular rainbow on the shipping container and not the Progress flag, but at least there's one on the truck cab.

The TransLatin@ Coalition really outdid itself with this float. It was a beautiful celebration of the trans flag, and it involved so many proud trans folks celebrating and living their truth. This was a complete transformation of the truck, and it is so, so, so good. Only one vehicle was gayer than this, and it stays this fabulous whether it's Pride or not. Beautiful float, TransLatin@ Coalition.

Well folks, this is the moment you've all been waiting for. The gayest vehicle in the 2024 Los Angeles LGBTQ+ Pride Parade was a pink Volkswagen Beetle Cabriolet with pink eyelashes, a pink steering wheel cover, a pink toy crank on the back, and pink fur covering the folded roof. Words aren't necessary to justify this ranking. All I can say is great work, and mad respect for the full-time commitment of owning a pink Volkswagen Beetle Cabriolet. Now that's gay.