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The Following States Have Been Canceled Because Of Snow

Illustration for article titled The Following States Have Been Canceled Because Of Snow

A brutal winter storm has invaded the south like a Yankee army, this time terrifying the locals with millimeter upon millimeter of snow and ice instead of emancipation. Some of these people have attempted to drive and the results have been hilarious. In light of this, the following states have been cancelled until temperatures rise above freezing.


Arkansas – Walk to your nearest Wal-Mart for shelter

Texas – You'll only be messing with yourself

Louisiana – It's the one day of the year that remaining inside and drinking will seem smart as opposed to sad


Mississippi – No, God isn't mad at you

Alabama – God is probably mad at you

Georgia –People driving in Atlanta won't notice the difference

South Carolina – If this doesn't impact the next season of 'House of Cards' we don't care

North Carolina – You don't even have 'House of Cards' so there was no risk of us caring

Florida – Actually, your state's pretty well screwed anyways, maybe you'll be better off


Virginia – You should really know better at this point

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matt......seriously, lets make fun of the south b/c why? I go to jalopnik for automotive related stuff. This might be lower than the gawker level crap I see.

you really dropped the ball.