The 2018 BMW M5 is an utter sledgehammer of a car. When you push the throttle, it doesn’t just accelerate, it seizes you by your lower jaw and rips you, screaming, through the cosmos. It’s really quite pleasant. A cure for old age, I daresay.
I got to spend a week in this blue wonder. Here are five things you should know about it.
1. There’s a Carbon Ceramic Brake Option
Will most M5 owners make maximum use of their carbon ceramic brakes? In the way that they are meant to be used? Probably not. But they’re cool to look at, you get gold calipers and bragging rights.
The only downside? They’ll set you back $8,500.
2. It Has Standard All-Wheel Drive
I know, I know. A BMW M5 with all-wheel drive. Quelle horreur. But the tradeoff is that you get grip coming from the front, so you won’t spin the car around on its ass as easily.
3. It Has Optional Rear-Wheel Drive
Relax. The M5 is still a fun-haver at heart, though. You can switch off the all-wheel drive if you want, and send all 600 of those horses straight to the rear wheels. Just know that you can only do so with traction control switched off, so you’d better be committed and ready for it.
4. There’s Launch Control For Rewriting Space-Time
A very good perk of the AWD setup is that you can set a blistering zero to 60 time with launch control. It’s really easy to use. All you have to do is set aside your previous notions of what constitutes as fast, turn the traction control off, put the car in AWD Sport mode, switch the transmission into its most aggressively shifting setting, plant your foot firmly on the brake and floor the throttle.
The revs will climb to 3,000 rpm and a little checkered flag will appear on the dash. That signifies that launch control has been activated. Let go of the brake. Don’t scream.
5. There Are 25 ///M Badges
We make fun of BMW for the high number and egregious placement of its badges. I’m here to tell you the M5 does not disappoint. I understand everyone’s desire to feel special and unique. That’s why we have a consumer economy.
Because I staunchly believe that people who buy BMW M cars are also doing it for the ///M badges. I have no way of backing up this belief, but can you look me in my internet eyes and tell me that you disagree? I didn’t think so.
The new M5 has 25 ///M badges. Twenty-five. They are freaking everywhere. You and everyone else on the road will never, ever forget that you are in the presence of an M car.
Is there such a thing as too many ///M badges? What a stupid question—of course not.