Vote 2020 graphic
Everything you need to know about and expect during
the most important election of our lifetimes

That's Not Hawt: Paris Hilton Arrested For DUI, Claims "Fatigue"

This image was lost some time after publication.
This image was lost some time after publication.

Late last night, Paris Hilton was pulled over and arrested by LAPD while "driving erratically" in Hollywood. An LAPD spokesperson claimed she "exhibited the symptoms of intoxication" and Hilton performed a field sobriety test, which she failed, leading to her arrest and subsequent charge with a DUI. Hilton's spokesperson, Elliot Mintz, went on to claim that police detected merely the California minimum B.A.C. level of 0.08%, and "[Hilton] was driving home from a celebrity appearance at a charity event where she only had one drink." When asked what happened to cause her erratic driving...


...Mintz claimed his celeb-whore of a client "spent the day shooting a music video and...[driving while looking drunk] was probably the result of an empty stomach and working all day and..." — wait for it — "...being fatigued." Ah, the good ol' "fatigue" excuse — works every time. No word on whether Hilton also verbally pummeled ociffers with anti-semitic slurs, or whether there were sexual favors offered — though if either happens, we'll be on it faster than Hilton on a bacardi and diet. [Hat tip to Zerin!

Paris Hilton charged with DUI [CNN]

Mel Gibson Has A Passionately Anti-Semitic DUI; LAPDSaysWhat?; Excuse Me Coach, Your Balls Are Showing: Detroit Lions Asst Coach Joe Cullen Ticketed For DUI And "Driving Without Clothes" [internal]


Share This Story

Get our newsletter


Everyone needs to get off Paris' back. Her countless hours of public works, volunteer efforts, non-profit fundraising and other general acts of social selflessness far out weigh the 1 time she decides to go out, party it up and drive home. It's not like she's EVER been seen doing this kind of thing before or has EVER had any kind of incident involving a motor-venicle. Seriously, just leave her alone.

Oh wait.


My bad.

I was thinking of someone else.