When the nog is gone, the presents unwrapped, and Aunt Betty's on her ninth retelling of life in rehab, you know it's time to bug out. With your help, we've identified the ten best vehicles for escaping your family.
This is Answers of the Day - where we take the best ten responses from the previous day's "Question Of The Day". It's by you and for you, the Jalopnik readers.
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10.) Subaru WRX STI
How It'll Help You Escape: When the snow falls, a proper set of tires and Subaru's famous AWD will help you put the power to the ground so you can get the hell out. Plus, a few Sebastian Loeb-style drifts around the driveway will convince your inlaws it's time for you to go.
Suggested by: TheSlurpeeMan
9.) Hot Rod Skimobile
How It'll Help You Escape: There's a pretty decent chance they won't even let you in the house if you pull up in this. And if they're cool with it, you'll probably spend your entire time giving the kids rides.
Suggested by: Skaygcog
8.) 2008 Volkswagen Rabbit/Golf
How It'll Help You Escape: "It has the nice feature of locking itself after being unlocked with the key fob, after a certain amount of time if you don't open the door. So, when we go to leave and I unlock the doors, if either mine or my wife's relatives want to start a long conversation, I'm not being rude by opening the door and getting in, I'm just keeping the car from re-locking itself. Which is usually followed by a much shorter conversation because they don't want to waste the car's battery."
Suggested by: TrampaOnline
7.) 42-Liter Bentley
How It'll Help You Escape: "Screw subtle. When I leave, I want the family to know. I want to leave like God's own thunderstorm. I want them to say, "There he goes again." I want the neighbors to know. I want the whole danged town to know.
Birds take to wing five miles away. Old men smile but try not to let old women see it. Timid children cry, but the brave kids, the adventurers, run to the curb, hoping for a glimpse of an Irish dude driving a green, flame-spitting dragon.
And after I've pulled back into the garage, I shall walk into the dining room, soaked in oil and scorched. The in-laws might meet my crazy eye, if they're brave. But they won't say a word."
Suggested by: Irishman72
6.) An Old Saturn
How It'll Help You Escape: "It's not a very good car to take to parties, and not a very good car to pick up a date in. On the other hand, it is an excellent car to get away from parties in, as most party hosts are more than happy to be rid of the property value-lowering presence of it."
Suggested by: PaulJones
5.) Ford Raptor
How It'll Help You Escape: Short of a volcano opening up outside your second cousin's trailer, what exactly is going to stop you from escaping?
Suggested by: Picarso
4.) A Cab
How It'll Help You Escape: You shouldn't drink and drive, but being around your family for too long sometimes makes not drinking impossible. The answer? A cab, of course.
Suggested by: FriscoFairlane
3.) A Plane
How It'll Help You Escape: "I've used the excuse when visiting relatives out of state that I have to leave early because there's weather moving in and I don't want to get stuck away from home. And certainly not with them for any duration."
Suggested by: Turbineguy
2.) Tesla Roadster
How It'll Help You Escape: "Internal combustion, for all it's myriad pleasures, remains loud, so Aunt Mildred will hear you when you leave the house. Electricity, however, is quiet, so you can safely escape before they notice. Range is low, but you can have the excuse that you ran out of juice at the Free Hooker Inn and had to stop and recharge."
Suggested by: SynthOno
1.) The Chocobo
How It'll Help You Escape: As much as you'd like to jet away from your family in a Raptor, the reality is you've got to spend time with your relatives. Some of them are old and maybe won't be here next year. And for every slightly racist nephew you're certain you aren't related to, there's an Uncle you adore and never get to see. How to survive a crazy, hour-long screed about Obama actually being from Nigeria? Escape in your mind with the Chocobo, the large flightless bird from the Final Fantasy series.
Suggested by: Zerobandwidth