Scumball 3000 Absolves Drivers Of Wrong-Doing...May Be Living In Dream World

This image was lost some time after publication, but you can still view it here.
This image was lost some time after publication, but you can still view it here.

The Gumball 3000 has finally issued a statement. If you can't get to it — we've also included it here:


Gumball 3000 is very saddened to announce a road accident which occurred yesterday, May 2nd, involving a participating vehicle and a local vehicle in Macedonia. Exact details are still filtering through, but below are the facts as of midday May 3rd 2007 issued by the Macedonian authorities...

...An adult Macedonian male aged 67 died in hospital from a heart attack following the incident where the two cars collided. The participants in the rally were held in custody last night with a preliminary court judgement expected today.

Organisers of the rally would like to express its deepest condolences to the family of the victim for this tragic accident.

Maximillion Cooper, founder of the Rally says: "It is with extreme sadness I have to make an announcement of this nature in the events nine year history. The event is organised with each local authorities support and permission, and drivers are under strict stipulation to abide by the laws and road regulations of the country they are driving through. It is extremely sad for this unfortunate accident to have occurred. I am informed that the incident was reported immediately by the drivers. Both drivers are extremely traumatised by this occurrence."


Yes, because I know whenever in an accident, the immediate first response of any scumballer is to head straight for the closest border crossing without stopping to administer help to the individuals they've just run over — in order to get help. That's right — the border is the best place to find critical medical supplies, hospitals and you know, safe passage from the authorities.

Statement []

Team Polizei Withdraws From Gumball 3000 After Deadly Hit-And-Run; Nick Morley Given "30 Days Temporary Detention" In Gumball 3000 Fatal Hit-And-Run; Russian BMW Reportedly Picked Up Morley And McConville After Deadly Gumball 3000 Hit-And-Run; Gumball 3000 Race Organizers Attempting To Cover Up Hit-And-Run; Gumballers Nick Morley And Matthew McConville Arrested After Hit-And-Run Fatality [internal]


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"Both drivers are extremely traumatised by this occurrence."

Yep. They showed it by trying to escape the accident. And then the country. Like all trauma victims do.

I have a sneaking suspicion the "hairdresser to the stars" is gonna be fine after this.