Rob Ford Finally Getting A Driver Because Holy Crap He Didn't Already?

Illustration for article titled Rob Ford Finally Getting A Driver Because Holy Crap He Didnt Already?

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford, a man world renowned for his prodigious drinking and crack-smoking, is also less-renowned for being one of the few big city mayors to drive himself around. This, despite the world-renowned ability for drugs and alcohol to destroy your ability to drive. Finally, that's going to change.

Ford for years resisted hiring a driver, saying that he didn't want the city to have the expense. He finally agreed to get a driver not because he finally admitted to all the drinking and the crack-smoking, but because his mom told him to. Seriously. It's in the Toronto Star.


Now, I'm not saying that Rob Ford ever drove drunk or under the influence of drugs while mayor. No one here has accused him of that, despite his 1999 arrest for DUI and marijuana possession, and the aforementioned continued drinking and crack-smoking. Maybe he does it on his own time, hopefully, I mean, please God, let him not be doing that and driving.

He does, on the other hand, have a very long list of other driving offenses, including:

  • Driving while reading
  • Passing a stopped streetcar, which led to a bit of road rage
  • Giving the finger to a woman while he was driving, after she told him to stop driving while talking on his cellphone
  • You know what, I'm gonna go ahead and mention the whole DUI thing as well, it's relevant

Rob Ford, as of this writing, is still the mayor of Toronto.

Don't smoke crack.

Photo credit: Twitter user @RyanHaughton

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Michael Ballaban

I would also like to point you to this beautiful picture of Mayor Ford attempting to extricate himself from a McLaren MP4-12C.