Pastor Maldonado Blames His Gargantuan Balls For His Tendency To Crash

Lotus driver Pastor Maldonado has developed somewhat of a reputation for crashing during his Formula One career, which even spawned his own personal crash counter. Maldonado is certain why he crashes, though: he’s got the biggest balls of them all.

“When Pastor crashes, its big news,” Maldonado told The Telegraph. “When the other people crash, there is no news.


“To find the limit, you need to cross the limit,” Maldonado told The Telegraph, as reprinted by Speed. “I think I have the big balls to cross the limit every time.”


While I contend that there are mythically gigantic metallic spheres of idiocy that convince me to do questionable things, I seriously doubt that the squishy bits in Maldonado’s pants are the cause of all his crashes. You don’t drive with those.

All things considered, two of his retirements this year weren’t even his fault.

“When Pastor crashes, its big news,” Maldonado explained to The Telegraph, as reprited on Speed. “When the other people crash, there is no news.”


Perhaps his reputation has just led to additional scrutiny? After all, he did give us one of the most epic battles of the season thus far. On the other hand, though, he also accidentally lined up two grid spots behind where he should have at the last race. Oops.


If all else fails, blame your ‘nads. Lesson learned. It’s the balls’ fault. It’s always the balls’ fault.

Photo credit: Getty Images

Contact the author at

Share This Story