Lucky M3 Idiot Leaving Cars and Coffee Is Lucky, Idiot

Some of you jamokes just can’t resist the siren song of those screechy tires, huh? Haven’t you seen enough YouTubes to know you shouldn’t smash the gas and saw your steering wheel... especially when you’re leaving a car show!

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Yep, people just love to drive like dickborks when they come out of a car show and see a row of folks holding cameras. I know this because almost every post we’ve tagged “Cars and Coffee” is somewhere between inexcusable recklessness and expensive brain-farts.

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Today’s Cars and Coffee imbecility comes from Boise, Idaho where YouTuber Braden Carlson seems to have wisely posted up on the inside of the exit turn waiting for a crash. I mean, filming the cool cars go by I’m sure.

As you can see, this M3 wastes no time initiating a dramatic departure. Like so many we’ve seen before, the driver executes a classic formula: loads of throttle, not enough throttle and panic brakes brakes brakes! The runaway Bimmer flings itself completely into the oncoming lane missing a bystander’s Jeep Liberty by a few feet.

Please, Cars and Coffee-goers. Stop it. STOP IT. Some of us are trying to use the road without BMW boomerangs being flung into us.

Hat tip to Rodney!

Jalopnik Staffer from 2013 to 2020, now Editor-In-Chief at Car Bibles

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DISCUSSION

turbolence1988
Turbolence1988 Loves Magic Turn Circles

Epiphany. We can fix the burnout problem quickly and easily while keeping the true spirit of Cars and Coffee alive.

As each car exits the car show and right before they turn onto the boulevard, hand each driver a small cup of hot, delicious coffee without a lid! Surely nobody would turn down free coffee, and we can even have decaf on hand for the caffeine-sensitive or soulless among us.

Any of the following scenarios can play out and make the world a better place:

- Car has no cupholder available. Driver slowly sips and carefully holds cup as they gently turn onto the road and drive away.
- Car has cupholder. Driver places coffee down, still needs to drive gently to keep coffee from spilling.
- Driver chugs coffee as fast as they can so they can do a burnout without spill risk. Driver burns mouth and esophagus, needs to exit vehicle to writhe in pain.
- Driver dumps coffee so they can do a burnout. Angry mob of coffee fans descends upon car and flips it over.

I will happily donate my coffee maker, 5 pounds of fine arabica, and a 100-pack of cups for this charitable endeavor. Who’s with me?!