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If Your Car Could Talk, What Would It Say?

Illustration for article titled If Your Car Could Talk, What Would It Say?

Spend enough time with a car and it'll start to communicate with you beyond what can be picked up with an OBD-II Code Reader. If your car could talk, what would it say?

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We spent part of the weekend working on the Volvo wagon's electrical system, which was apparently designed by Sir Lucas' sadomasochistic Swedish cousin. The more I drive the car the more I feel in tune with it and not just from the smell being exuded from the slowly disintegrating head gasket.

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This weekend it was particularly chatty. After fooling with bulbs and contact patches it was telling me "it's the circuit board, consult a professional." Otherwise, it was telling me it wanted to hit the open road. It's been cooped up in a West Texas garage and it wants to fly. It wants to see the world beyond Llano and Houston. It's lived too sheltered a life. After a winter of bringing it up to excellent condition that's exactly what I'm planning to do.

(QOTD is your chance to answer the day's most pressing automotive questions and experience the opinions of the insightful insiders, practicing pundits and gleeful gearheads that make up the Jalopnik commentariat. If you've got a suggestion for a good "Question Of The Day" send an email to tips at jalopnik dot com.)

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DISCUSSION

For what it's worth:

The Evo,"I don't care that were in a parking lot, I was not built for this slow of a speed. Fine, my drive train is going to buck and shunt and make you look like you just learned to drive stick." Also, it speaks many variations of "Go faster please."

The old, family heirloom '69 911, "I very much appreciate these new batteries. I really prefer them to the jolt from the jumper cables you've been using lately." It is also very articulate in expressing itself with oil drips. I think it's a kind of morse code stating that I will be spending a large sum of money in the near future.

Our VW rarely says anything at all as it goes about its chores in a Germanic stoicism. Though I do think it shoots the Evo contemptuous looks every now and then as it no longer gets the garage space.