I often wish I were obscenely, disgustingly, filthy rich solely for the sheer amount of dumb stuff I could buy that would bring me an infinite amount of infantile joy. And one of those things is the slot car version of Abu Dhabi’s Grand Prix circuit, replete with wonderful little Formula One slot cars.
I’ve never been so in love with something being auctioned through RM Sotheby’s, and that’s saying something because there’s almost always some cool shit making its way onto the site. But I have to say, a slot car track commissioned by F1 that was exclusively available to Paddock Club members during the 2018 season is the best, hands down.
The auction house expects the thing to sell for “$20,000 to $30,000,” but, no reserve so who knows, maybe you could grab a bargain!
This thing is designed to be as accurate as possible on a 1:32 scale. And I’ll be honest—it’s no meager track. This isn’t the single tiny slot car oval track I had when I was a wee child. I mean, it even has different racing lines. It has electronic lap timing! It has built-in cameras! You could sit there and race Abu Dhabi while you watched Abu Dhabi. Is there any greater joy in life than that?
I can’t think of anything else. This is why I’m trying to talk my husband into letting me spend all of our house savings on a thing that we definitely do not need. Because fuck a house, my hierarchy of needs begins with an Abu Dhabi slot track at its base. Food and shelter? That all comes later.
But, in all honesty, all the proceeds for the sale go to the Reaching the Last Mile Fund, a charity dedicated to eradicating preventable diseases worldwide—so you can feel a little better about spending a truly egregious amount of money on a toy. Which would probably be a good thing for dumbasses like me who would spend their entire life savings just to buy a slot car track.