I Am Utterly Fascinated By Bugatti's Instagram Comments

Image: Bugatti (Instagram)

Instagram, over the years, has morphed from that small corner of the internet where people weren’t constantly trying to fake it into that large corner of the internet where everyone is being paid to fake it. But there are still some bright spots, such as the comment sections of brand accounts like Bugatti.

See, once you scroll past the “top” comments on Instagram that always happen to be either a row of random praiseful emojis or a single word like “YAAAS” or “QUEEN” by verified users, things start to get fun.

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Take this recent post by Bugatti, teasing an upcoming car that surely won’t be yet another variant based on the Chiron:

Once you get past all of the heart-eye emoji comments on the above post, you start to get into the good stuff, such as an absurd amount of spam comments about cryptocurrency and the following:

  • Great
  • I WOKE UP IN A NEW BUGATTI
  • Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo CAWWWWWWWW CAWWWWWWWW CAWWWWWWW
  • BUGATTI FULL POWER💯
  • The beast unleashed🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
  • Melting me
  • Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees OMGGGGGGGG OW MAAAAAAH GAAAAAAHHHHD 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯🔥🔥🔥🔥
  • No way. I want to undress it with my eyes! 😍🔥
  • I have what you create had here, I am this mind. I am this message. I am the World.
  • But who can buy one of them?? Bugatti must also think about the poor and build cars for them that they can buy
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And the only comment that actually matters:

  • Damn didnt know yall are gonna make tanks in 2020

Aside from that last one, I cannot for the life of me fathom writing any of those comments. Just close your eyes for a second and imagine seeing a photo of a car under a sheet, then consciously deciding to type and submit the words “I want to undress it with my eyes!” or “BUGATTI FULL POWER.”

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Yeah. Not that easy.

I’d somewhat given up on Instagram, since everything I scroll past is either an actual Instagram ad or a person posting their own ad on Instagram, because that protein-smoothie influencer money really does hit the spot. But I’ve found my new place, and that place is right here, in Bugatti’s Instagram comments.

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