Guess The 24 Hours Of LeMons South Laps, Win Fabulous Prizes!

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Before the Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMons race, readers guessed how many laps they thought a couple of Index Of Effluency contenders might complete. Syrax takes that one, with an amazingly prescient guess.


Syrax guessed 195 laps for the Team Opular Dependence Israel Opel GT, and 260 laps for the Frogmasters MGB-GT. When the race was over, the Opel had finished 180 laps and the MG did 260, giving Syrax a total error of just 15 laps. For that achievement, LeMons HQ in lovely Emeryville, California, has shipped out a fine collection of LeMons apparel (shown in the photo above) to Syrax. We're sure he'll be knockin' 'em dead with that LeMons LifestyleWear™ in his hometown of São Paulo, Brazil. And, hey, it's that time once again – guess the laps, win fabulous prizes! To give you some guidelines for probable lap totals at the LeMons South Spring race, the winner of the race last August notched 512 laps, and most of the top finishers racked up something around 500 laps.

Speaking of "racking up", our first contestant in the You Guess The Laps contest is the Subaru SVX of Team Living Waters Church of Subaru; Beauty of All Wheel Drive Tent Revival. Last time around, this car managed a total of six laps, thanks to a broken steering rack and other impossible-to-fix problems, with the team taking the I Got Screwed trophy after wrenching furiously for the entire weekend to even do as well as they did. Now, everyone knows an SVX should totally dominate on the racetrack, so maybe your best bet is to opt for 550 laps this time. No, 600! My own guess will be a little more conservative; I think it will manage 257 laps before breaking some part you can't find in South Carolina.


Then there's HEAVY METAL, a team whose members keep the pedal to the metal and the CAPS LOCK key pressed down just as hard. All we know about this team is that their car is a '72 Ford LTD… but, really, what else needs to be said? I'm using the shots of a DOTS 1970 LTD to represent what I'm sure will be a Legend In Its Own Time LeMons machine. The question for you is: how many laps do you think it will do? Like most big ol' Detroit LeMons racers, an LTD ought to be reasonably reliable on the track, but anything can happen out there! My guess: 360 laps.


We love Alfa Romeos at the 24 Hours Of LeMons; in fact, three of the top ten finishers in the New England LeMons were Alfas. Those were bulletproof Milanos (bet you've never seen those two words together!), however, and Dog Ciao Racing is running a '74 Spider. Sure, a Spider should annihilate the field on a race track… though for some reason the Ecurie Ecrappe car has never managed to place higher than 18th, despite being piloted by an all-ringer team of ace drivers. Yes, reliability issues and Alfa Romeos go together like the lira and inflation, but maybe this Spider will be different. My prediction: 146 very quick laps, achieved in several sessions punctuated by not-so-quick engine rebuilds.


Last year, Team Ponticrap (We Are Driving Excrement) had a rough time at the hands of race officials, first getting sweated extra-hard by those mean ol' judges, then finally getting put on the trailer by the Chief Perp after spinning out one too many times on the track. The car actually held together pretty well and was quite fast, so if the team can keep their Fiero's plastic nose pointed the right direction… hey, maybe they can actually win this thing! I think they'll do pretty well this time: 498 laps.

OK, you know the deal: put your guesses in a comment, and the fabulous prizes will be heading the winner's way many weeks soon after the race. While you're here, you might as well check out the complete entry list, which LeMons Supreme Court Justice Lieberman scooped me on, from his new venue at Supreme Court Justice Zerin Dube's Speed:Sport:Life. Yes, that sure is a lot of BMWs… and I'm already feeling skeptical about the legitimacy of any E30 coming my way during a BS Inspection! And those of you wondering why that '78 Kadett wasn't on the Guess The Laps list should look at this serious race car, which avoided massive lap penalties only because it's a Buick-badged Opel with an Isuzu engine.

Amaxophobe Racing: 1986 Pontiac Fiero
ambulance chasers: Kia Spectra
Anger Management:
BAILOUT BANDITS: 1994 Mazda 626
Barfing Duck: 1995 Saturn SL
BeerTech Racing: 1986 BMW 325e
Black Sheep Racing: 1987 Nissan 300ZX
Blind Rodent Racing: 1986 Ford ThunderTurd
Blitzenbenz: 1977 Mercedes-Benz 300D
Bread Winner Racing: 1987 Toyota Celica ST
BS Racing: 1993 Ford Probe
Cherry Bomb Racing: 1989 BMW 325i
CMP Mafia: 1990 Mitsubishi Eclipse
CMP Mafia II: 1983 Porsche 944
Coyote Motorsports: 1985 Dodge Daytona
Dai Mondai I: 1989 Toyota Celica
Dai Mondai II: 1987 Toyota Corolla FX16 GT-S
Dawghouse Racing 2009: 1986 Honda F1 F2009-lude
Depends Undergarments Patrol:
Dog Ciao Racing: 1974 Alfa Romeo Spider
Dorifto Dogs: 1986 BMW 325e
Dorki's Craptastic Racing Team: 1985 Porsche 944
DOS Boot Racing: 1985 Volkswagen GTI
Eager Beavers Racing Team: 1986 Honda Prelude
El Pinky Chaparral: 1985 Toyota Celica having fun: 1990 Mazda Miata
Euro Trash: 1985 BMW 325
Flyan Hawians: 1983 Porsche 944
Flying Purple People Eater : 1984 Mazda RX-7
Furman/Limestone: 1985 Nissan 300ZX
Greyman Motor Club: 1989 Mazda 626
Grim Reaper Racing: 1994 Ford Mustang
Hammer's Heroes: 1983 BMW 320i
Hong Norr: 1986 Honda CRX
Howard J. Turkstra Motorsports: 1983 Toyota Celica
Huggy Bear Better Run: 1991 Ford Escort
Integrenaders: 1988 Acura Integra
JP Smith Builders: 1993 Ford Crown Victoria
Junk Works Racing: 1990 Mazda Miata
Kudzu Kommandos: 1984 BMW 325e
Lab Rats Motorsports: 1988 Dodge Colt E
LeMons Vuittion: 1998 Plymouth Neon
Lightning McQueen: 1990 Volkswagen Jetta
Living Waters Church of Subaru; Beauty of All Wheel Drive Tent Revival: 1992 Subaru SVX
Loose Tool Racing: 1994 Volkswagen Jetta
Mad Bombers: 1993 Honduh Peelude
Malt Liquor Tech Racing: 1986 BMW 325e
more cowbell: 1984 Porsche 944
Not a chance: 1991 Ford Escort
Our Lady of Perpetual Downforce: 1988 Honda Civic
Peg Leg Rum Runners from Outer Space: 1998 Ford Union Jack Victoria
pleasant valley racers: 1998 Ford Crown Victoria
Police Brutality: 1994 Lincoln Mark VIII
Poor Man's Derrike Cope: 1992 Honda Accord
POS Global: 1987 Honda Civic
RacingNemo: 1985 BMW 325e 1985 Saab 900 Turbo
Repo Men: 1993 Mazda 626
rescue 911: 1991 Plymouth Laser
Rubber Biscuit Racing: 1994 Chevrolet Caprice
Rush Hour Racing: 1996 Ford Crown Victoria
SATURN "5": 1995 Saturn SC5 Rocket
Schumacher Taxi Service 1 - American Samurai from Japan: 1986 Toyota MR2
Schumacher Taxi Service FX-16 more masochism!: 1987 Toyota Corolla FX16 GT-S
Scuderia GonzoAlonzo: 1987 Alfa Romeo Milano
sinical racing: 1984 BMW 325
SubarJew: 1996 Subaru Legacy Wagon
Superkak Racing v2.0: 1995 Ford Mustang
TAJ Escort Service: 1993 Ford Escort GT 420.R MK III
Team Chapter 11 Honda F1 Earth Nightmare: 1988 Honda CRX
Team Cockroach: 1986 BMW 325i
Team Fat Bottom Girls: 1986 Mazda RX-7
Team FDonk: 1984 Nissan 720
Team Miller Lite: 1994 Subaru Impreza
Team Non Sequitur: 1992 Acura Integra
Team Ponticrap (we are driving excrement): 1986 Pontiac Fiero
Team Red rocket: 1991 Ford Escort GT
Team Saab Story: 1986 Saab 9000 Turbo
Team Thunderturd II: 1987 Ford Thunderbird Turbo Coupe
Team Turbo Schnitzel: 1987 Merkur XR4Ti
Team We-Todd: 1993 Honda Civic VX
Team WFO "dos": 1991 Honda Civic
Team Z Racing: 1990 Mazda Miata
The Chassis Gynos: 1984 Chevrolet Camaro
The Revenge of Molde Carlo: 1985 Chevrolet Camaro
The Schumacher Taxi Service/2 Half a taxi: 1990 Audi 80 Quattro
Theoretical Racing: 1983 Nissan 280ZX
Thinking with our diptsicks: 1990 Audi 100 Quattro
Total Loss: 1985 BMW 325
Tunachuckers: 1966 Volvo 122
White Lightning: 1986 Mazda RX-7
XXX-Games: 1978 Opel Kadett