After cringing through GM "spokesman" Rikk Wilde's laughably bad — yet surprisingly endearing — World Series presentation, then watching the company turn it into a great ad campaign, we thought "Ok, maybe they know what they're doing." Closer examination confirms... maybe not.
A reader who's asked to stay anonymous sent over his breakdown of GM's sports-award presentation facepalms ranging from minor on-camera grumpiness to some idiot announcer yelling for Eli Manning to "please come back and pick up the keys to his free Corvette."
It's sort of amazing. Starting with the...
Tom Brady wins 2004 Cadillac Escalade ESV, and is forced to sue General Motors for failing to deliver prize vehicle (Haha, possibly why he decided to avoid the hassle and pawn his free Colorado off on teammate Malcolm Butler this year?)
David Freese wins 2012 Chevy Corvette Grand Sport, awkward award presenter says "your performance" about half a dozen times while Freese barely pays attention:
Four months later, David Freese's father finally picked up the car.
Eli Manning wins 2012 Chevy Corvette Grand Sport, but walks off the field without the keys:
Later, Eli Manning later does commercials for Toyota.
Pablo Sandoval wins 2013 Chevy Corvette 427 Convertible, GM executive Mark Reuss looks miserable...
Sandoval later buys himself some wild Wranglers instead:
Mariano Rivera wins 2014 Chevy Corvette Stingray...
Two months later Rivera appears in an Acura commercial.
David Ortiz wins 2014 Chevy Silverado High Country, which is then recalled 11 times by GM.
Malcolm Smith wins 2014 Chevy Silverado High Country, which is also recalled 11 times by GM:
Madison Bumgarner wins 2015 Chevy Colorado, GM executive does remarkable impression of Chris "van down by the river" Farley.
Alright ladies and gentlemen, saddle up for the lighting-round readoff of sports MVP giveaway recalls! (as per the NHTSA):
2002 Super Bowl — Tom Brady wins 2003 Cadillac Escalade EXT — RECALLED 2 TIMES
2003 Super Bowl — Dexter Jackson wins 2003 Cadillac Escalade — RECALLED 6 TIMES
2005 Super Bowl — Deion Branch wins 2005 Cadillac XLR — RECALLED 3 TIMES
2006 Super Bowl — Hines Ward wins 2006 Cadillac Escalade — RECALLED 2 TIMES
2006 World Series — David Eckstein wins 2007 Chevy Corvette Z06 — RECALLED 1 TIME
2007 Super Bowl — Peyton Manning wins 2007 Cadillac XLR — RECALLED 1 TIME
2008 MLB ASG — J.D. Drew wins 2008 Chevy Tahoe — RECALLED 2 TIMES
2008 World Series — Cole Hamels wins 2010 Chevy Camaro — RECALLED 2 TIMES
2011 Super Bowl — Aaron Rodgers wins 2011 Chevy Camaro — RECALLED 2 TIMES
2012 MLB ASG — Melky Cabrera wins 2013 Chevy Camaro ZL1 — RECALLED 2 TIMES
2012 World Series — Pablo Sandoval wins 2013 Chevy Corvette 427 Convertible — RECALLED 1 TIME
2013 Super Bowl — Joe Flacco wins 2014 Chevy Corvette C7 Stingray — RECALLED 3 TIMES
2013 MLB ASG — Mariano Rivera wins 2014 Chevy Corvette Stingray — RECALLED 3 TIMES
2013 World Series — David Ortiz wins 2014 Chevy Silverado High Country — RECALLED 11 TIMES
2014 Super Bowl — Malcolm Smith wins 2014 Chevy Silverado High Country — RECALLED 11 TIMES
2014 MLB ASG — Mike Trout wins 2014 Chevy Corvette — RECALLED 3 TIMES
2014 World Series — Madison Bumgarner wins 2015 Chevy Colorado — RECALLED 1 TIME
If only GM could turn all these embarrassments into awesome hashtags.
Top image by Jason Torchinsky