For $6,500, Embrace Your Inner Clown

Nice Price Or Crack PipeIs this used car a good deal? You decide!

Today’s Nice Price or Crack Pipe Suzuki is the kind of car you’d expect a murder of clowns to spill out of at every stop. It’s not clowning around however as it rocks a hot 358, but will its price prove a pie in the face?

Sort of like how the age of the Dinosaurs came and went, so to did the era when Minivans ruled the road. Today there aren’t any more dinos around, but minivans still seem to be hanging in there, albeit with a universal herbivorous dullness.


That fact didn’t make the appearance here in the U.S. of yesterday’s JDM 1988 Nissan Homy any less shocking than say seeing the Loch Ness monster take a steaming dump right before your eyes. The only thing more shocking was its price, which 73% of you didn’t like at all.

You know what would be even scarier than being chased by one of those big-assed dinosaurs- I mean one of the sharp-toothed eat-you-saurus sort, not the slow-witted step-on-you kind? Effing clowns, that’s what.


And because of that, I’m kind of planning to give this custom 1997 Suzuki X90 a wide berth, as these things have always looked like freaking grenades that when they go off will shower you in nasty clown shrapnel.

The X90 was based on the Sidekick and hence is pretty tiny. Unlike its progenitor however, the X90's styling couldn't ever be mistaken for a shrinky-dink Jeep, not even in the dark, by Stevie Wonder. Instead, the T-roof equipped two-door looks more like something you'd strap on to go skiing, or more accurately a vessel purpose built for bulbous-nosed and wild-haired evil.


The good thing about the X90 was that outrunning one containing an insane clown posse wouldn't even require donning into your running shoes. That's because the truck's 95-horse 1.6 took an interminable amount of time to get the cute little turd up to speed. Considering that clowns can't run in their comically over-sized shoes, that means that they'll only be able eat the fat ones.


This one might then seem somewhat less terrifying until that is you pop its tiny hood and discover that it has been equipped with not just an SBC but one that's been punched out to a clown hurtling 358 cubic freakin' inches.

Oh shit!

It's surprising that such a big mill could be crammed into such a tiny little car, but then again stuffing it full of a dozen or more clowns also seems impossible until one pulls up and they come spilling out throwing pies and eating cats. Clown shoes prevent both heel and toe work and proper clutch pedal action so of course this bad boy also has an automatic, a 700R4 in case you were wondering. Other updates included in what is claimed a $15K investment in the car are all sorts of chrome dash-top gauges, and a quartet of equally reflection-worthy wheels.


Mileage? Don't know. Who did the install? Hopefully someone who knows what they're doing and not some clown. Both the paint and interior on this one look to be in fine shape, and there doesn't appear to be any missing trim or other major issues that should be noted.


The X90 was never taken seriously and in its short life Suzuki only managed to sell about 7,300 of them here. Still, that's a lot of clowns. What you now need to do is say whether or not this custom job's $6,500 price is a good deal or not. What do you think, is that a fair price to keep this V8 X90 out of the hands of some clown? Or, does that price mean this Suzuki is no laughing matter?

You decide!


Richmond Craigslist, or go here if the ad disappears.

H/T to GrammerAss for the hookup!

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