Are you tired of all those LS1 engine conversions that fit so neatly under their recipients' hoods? Well, today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe Pontiac has a Turbo V6 so wild, no hood can contain it.
While looking like the World's most high-tech suppository, yesterday's Rabid Renault proved itself as popular a French Canadian as that freecreditreport.com guy, taking home a 60% Nice Price win for its ennuis. Today however, as my Canadian isn't getting any better, we're going to bid adieu to our neighbors to the North, and take a trip south to see a candidate that's so American, it's red, white and blown. You can't get much more American than Texas, or so say the Texans, and that's where this 1980 Pontiac Sunbird has been residing for the past few years. While there, it hasn't been spending its time reading Alamo Monthly, it's been getting pumped!
Back in 1980, the Pontiac Sunbird was a physical manifestation of General Motors broad animosity toward the car-buying public. By that year, the emasculated V8 edition had been mercifully taken out behind the shed and given a double barrel to the two barrel, while the Iron Duke remained to torment Sunbird drivers with its penchant for plodding performance and village idiot-level refinement. For those who enjoyed that kind of banality, but were looking for a couple more cylinders to abuse them, Buick's wheezy 3.8-litre was also made available. That 1980 range-topper produced its anemic 110 horsepower in the same way a dog shits a peach pit.
This Sunbird isn't powered by either of those wretched expresses.
Instead, it's sporting what the seller says is a NASCAR-spec Chevy 4.3-litre fitted with a massive 75mm BW S400SX turbo. Bowtie heads, a 4" drainpipe for exhaust, and an E85-chugging carb help this monster pump out a claimed 629 horsepower at the wheels, along with 578 foot pounds of torqemada in the same general locale.
Can I get a Gawdayum?
The turbo and its related plumbing pops through the hood like the chest baby in Alien, and that, along with the plain jane appearance of the rest of the car makes the whole thing awesome. No flames, no lambo doors, or JEGS stickers here, just some massive pipe and a purple popoff to let your opponents know that this Sunbird could possibly fly, and that they better stay the hell out of your way.
Fly this Sunbird supposedly does, the seller speculating that in its current guise it may be capable of 9's in the quarter. The interior has been caged, and underneath it's been treated to 5-lug S10 hubs and upgraded brakes, in case those 9's turn ugly. Like, Mike Tyson ugly.
The way the Craigslist ad is worded - TURBO LS1 MONZA CAMARO MUSTANG? Seriously? O RLY? WTF? - may make you think the seller has tourette's or something. However, if you read through the build process on this Turbo Forums post you'll see the seller (shoebox1.1) really seems to be a decent guy, so we should cut him some slack for his weak Craigslist skillz.
Poor copywriting aside, he is able to get across the most salient points in the car's favor, and one that you'll have to determine to be to its advantage or not. That would be the $6,000 asking price, which he says is driven by the need to get the car out of what will soon be the Nursery. What do you think about that - the price, not the baby - is that a screamin' deal for a nine-second Sunbird? Or, do you think it's a drag?
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