The impending end of the road for Ford's evergreen Crown Vic has police departments scrambling to buy up the last ones as well as looking for alternatives. Today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe Pinto squad car is pretty alternative, but does is its price make it all that and a box of donuts?
My wife once bought a Nash Metropolitan from a guy whose ex-wife had used a baseball bat to bash the car's roof in an attempt to get back at him for saying she looked fat in those jeans or something. Every time he went out to repair the damage, it made him so angry that he basically couldn't work on the car, hence forcing the sale. Yesterday's Celica All-Trac was all kinds of all apart, and due to the seller's apparent apathy towards piecing it back together before doing the Craigslist shuffle, 72% of you voted it go to the Crack Pipe parts department.
Okay, I know it may seem like this is the Freaky Fords department as today's candidate is the second theme Ford we've had this week. This one however, is so cool I thought you'd let it slide. Besides, that old maxim about variety being the spice of life? It's baloney. The spice of life is really Red Curry. This car is much more than a decal and paint special, and in fact this 1978 Pinto Police Car is jaw dropping in its level of coptastic detail. The seller says it was built as part of the campaign of a candidate for sheriff. It still has woodwardforsheriff.com emblazoned across its front fenders even though the address is now one of the Internet's many backwaters. That's potentially the only questionable element of this amazing Pinto Patrol Car. As you would expect, it's black and white and red all over - once you light up the gumball on the roof. There's everything you'd expect a cop car to contain, from spotlights on the A-pillars to the mouth-watering Dunkin Donuts on the console, even down to a subtle POLICE INTERCEPTOR badge just above the driver's side tail light.
In 1978, the Pinto's drivetrain wasn't up to snuff for police duty, and in fact burying the gas pedal would usually result in little more than a sputter of tepid exhaust noise that sounded eerily like the car was saying um, yeah, I'll get back to you on that. Making this one less crappy and more coppy is a drivetrain out of an 1980 Thunderbird. That's a 140-bhp V8 and C4 automatic to you civilians. Sure, 140 ponies won't make this Pinto one-adam twelve, but since the V8's already there, most of the hard work involved in filling its corral has already been done.
Inside this Copinto you'll find more T-Bird in the guise of the red bucket seats. The original Pinto platforms were about as supportive as a hand-me-down jockstrap, so these have to be a step up. There's also extra gauges, an Rayovac flashlight, and, the bane of escapees everywhere, a Motorola two-way. The cops aways used to say, you may outrun me, but you can't outrun a Motorola. Fun fact- Motorola was started by William Lear - the business jet guy - and he named his daughter ‘Shanda'! I defaecate you in the negative.
The whole car, inside and out looks to be in great shape, and the somewhat cheesy nod to Andy Griffith on the trunk lid could be easily covered simply by having a ‘perp' spreadeagled against the back of the car. Or, just leave it there and pretend you've got an APB out for ‘Ain't Bee. Oh and the seller's name is Rocky, how cool is that?
Cop cars are usually something one tries to avoid being dumped into, however jumping on this John Law Pinto might be just the ticket. And while they say if you can't do the time, don't do the crime, this car's $5,100 price tag doesn't seem to be beyond the means of a public servant's hourly wage. What do you think, is that a price that would make this Pinto patrol palatable? Or, would that leave you busted?
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