For $5,000, It’s A Total Eclipse Of The Donk

An eclipse is when one celestial body enters between two others- one of those typically being the Sun - partially or totally obscuring one from the other. Today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe Eclipse may itself be obscure, but despite its wide-orbit turning circle, is this donk a star?


While no one likes to profit from the misfortunes of others - you don't, do you? - there's no reason to think that buying yesterday's Divorce-sale Mini would be taking advantage of its now swinging single present owner. In fact, it's somewhat startling 71% Crack Pipe loss proved that most of you don't like being taken advantage of either. High five for standing up for yourselves.

You know what else is high? This '95 Mitsubishi Eclipse, that's what.

Two trailer park girls go round the outside, round the outside, round the outside. . .

Straight outta' Columbia SC comes this sweet raised Eclipse, high-boying it on a Nissan 4x4 pickup frame and getting its motivation from a Chevy V8 and 700r4 autmatic. Unlike most car on truck sexytimes, this one doesn't look like it was slapped together by a couple of rubes right before loping off into the woods to double team Ned Beatty.

Illustration for article titled For $5,000, It’s A Total Eclipse Of The Donk

Instead, it appears remarkably well conceived. The bodywork has a bunch of aftermarket body mods which look to have been professionally installed and painted to match the rest of the car. The interior - if the mix of electric blue and Clorox white don't cause you to seize - is reasonably free of douchebaggery. No a-pillar gauges or LCDs for you crotch here. There is an awkward advertisement for a tow company on each of the windows, but that's what razorblades and acetone were invented for.

But the big feature here - and I mean like Sir Mix-A-Lot backup dancer ass big - is the distance between sidewalls on the Nitto Mud Grappler tires, which is afforded by the car's massive chrome wheels. The really skinny ones in the video and a couple of pics are 255/30R30s while the car is said to now roll on 37x13.50x22 Nittos, as may be seen in a couple more of the ad's snaps.

Illustration for article titled For $5,000, It’s A Total Eclipse Of The Donk

With the really big donks this Eclipse looks a little tipsy, but the mudders meat it up really nicely and probably are less likely to let it turn turtle. The seller notes that it could be lowered and turned into a drifter - although the slow-reving V8 and live axles may make that prospect more entertaining for the driver than the spectators. Alternatively, the ad suggests keeping it jacked up and doing the off-road thing in it. With this car, the world truly is your oyster.


And you won't need to give up too many pearls to buy it either as the price tag is currently $5,000. That price gets you not just the Eclipse, but the Nissan upon which it rests and a Chevy V8. Hell, that's quite a bargain. Or is it? What do you think, is this former show car worth showing up with five grand? Or, is that a price that eclipses any interest?

You decide!


Columbia Craigslist or go here if the Honky Tonk Badonkadonk..

H/T to WhiteTrashSteve for the hookup!

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Rob Emslie

Okay, if this is an oddball donk, what do you think is the perfect car to get high in?