Nice Price Or Crack PipeIs this used car a good deal? You decide!  

When not fighting crime, Superman went by his nebbish alter ego, mild-mannered Clark Kent. The BMW 525i is likewise mild-mannered, although today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe E34 is hiding something Supra. Despite that, will you find its price to be a crime?

Under the sea! Under the sea! Darlin' it's better down where it's wetter, take it from me. That is unless, you buy a Porsche that's dressed, blindingly yellow, and which a fellow says once was a sopping mess.
Fish swim in a school, but that 911 didn't rule, its condition was a gripe so it got a 89% Crack Pipe and now it's back to the pool. Under the sea! Und. . .

Oops sorry, my bad.

You know, there's long been an argument over whether it's better to buy the most expensive edition of a cheap car brand, or the cheapest version of an expensive one. The former gives you loads of features and conveniences, while the latter provides potentially a better, more substantial product, albeit one with many fewer frills. If you're an advocate of the second line of thinking, and are also a BMW 5-series stalker, then you're probably going to end up with something like today's 1989 525i. The E34 remains one of the best looking of all the fives, although with only 168 horses behind its twin kidneys, the M20B25-powered 525 sedan was an Ultimate Driving Machine in the same way that Ultimate Frisbee is a sport.


But not this one. Like the man of Steel, this 525i hides its true identity under a grey suit and sunroof-equipped fedora. The 525i badge on its rump is equatable to Clark's black-framed spectacles, however the transformation from mild to wild doesn't require a phone booth. Instead, a twist of the key should light up what is described as a 1JZ-GTE out of a Supra, an engine injection that should make this 5 come alive.


The last time the Germans and the Japanese got together they threw a little party, maybe you heard of it, it was called World War II. These days, things are a lot more peaceable, but still throwing Toyota's 280-bhp 2.5-litre into Bavaria's finest is more common than you might expect. This one comes with a Toyota Automatic and - uh-oh, we just lost a bunch of readers - oh well, for the rest of us that means the Bimmer's lack of commodious cup holders will be less of a problem as driving this auto box will leave a left arm free for either Starbucks or flipping the bird to the manny tranny snobs. Additional upgrades are an aftermarket pop-off, high-gph fuel pump, and a boost gauge. That last item should be A-pillar mounted if there's any justice in the world.

As far as JZ-ing of the engine bay goes, the installation appears clean - at least what can be seen of it - and the seller claims 8 months of trouble-free post operative driving. He also says that everything - including the speedo and tach - are fully working, surprising considering the language barrier between them and the drivetrain. Visually, the body's a bit rough, having lost its front bumper rub strip and a door molding on the driver side.


The interior remains as mysterious as Superman's bathroom habits as no pictures are provided in the ad, although it is claimed to be black, like Lex Luthor's soul. There's also no further description of exactly which generation of 1JZ this GTE calls family. The earliest ones tended to suffer from turbo failures due to some sort of EGR issues, but the fix is apparently an easy one. The plug valley cover implies this may be an early turbo-eater, so keep that in mind.


Also keep in mind that the seller is asking $4,000 for this Axis power, and it's up to you to determine if that's a super price for all that Supra power, or, if this modded 5-series is like kryptonite at that price.

You decide!


Milwaukee's Finest Craigslist or go here if the ad disappears. H/T to James for the hookup!

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