For $3,990, Would You Go Toe To Tow With This 1991 Geo Storm Wagonback?

Nice Price Or Crack PipeIs this used car a good deal? You decide!

Today’s Nice Price or Crack Pipe Storm is pretty unique in that it represents not just one but two dead brands here in the U.S.—Geo and Isuzu. Let’s see if this little RV tagalong’s price is at all worth waking the dead.

Have you ever noticed that, while we generally classify matter per the Linnaean taxonomy as being either animal, vegetable, or mineral, only one of those categories ever gets to have any fun? I mean, we have party animals, where are all the party vegetables and party minerals?


If you happen to be a member of that first group, then no doubt you found yesterday’s converted 1988 Chevy B-series party bus to be your Red Solo Cup of spiked punch. Almost everybody found its meager $1,100 asking price to be worth celebrating as well, and it dragged off a well-earned 88-percent Nice Price win, bad brakes and all.

Do you like Gerard Butler as an actor? Sure you do. He was after all King Leonidas in the movie 300 where he kicked a tax collector down a well and then did some other stuff, all while wearing little more than a velour speedo and cape. Not many dudes could pull that off.

Admittedly since then Butler hasn’t perhaps made the best choices in his roles. His latest flick, Geostorm was such a turd that it sat on the shelf for almost a year before plopping into theaters last fall. There it garnered unfavorable reviews, and built on that a general audience disinterest. You can catch it now on VOD, but then, why would you?


I bring this all up because I don’t want your to confuse the terrible movie Geostorm with today’s candidate, a not so bad looking 1991 Geo Storm. After all, they share nothing but the name, and I’m pretty sure Gerald Butler wasn’t this car’s denoted ‘one owner.’

For those of you not up to the penny on all things Geo, that was a marque created in the late 1980s by General Motors, the intent of which was to corral a number of small cars from their subsidiaries together as a sort of import-fighting Justice League.


The models included the Prizm, which was a rebranded Toyota Corolla built at the NUMMI plant in Fremont, California; the Metro and Tracker, both of which came from Suzuki’s Ontario Canada plant; and the Spectrum and Storm which Isuzu brought to the party from Japan.


Perhaps Geo’s most notable pop culture moment was being used as fodder for a Simpsons gag. That had the Flanderses attempting to escape an oppressively convivial Homer in their car, and when Maude Flanders implores Ned to drive faster he shrieks “I can’t… it’s a Geo!” Ah Ned, will you ever win? Will Geo?

The Geo Storm was in fact a bit of sporty car. Was it lightning quick with knife-edge handling? No, but it was decent enough, and it certainly looked the part, especially in the rare wagonback body as we have here.


The Storm was offered in a glass-back hatch as well, which recalled in style a mini Camaro. This more rarely chosen bubbly back was better though because it gave you more storage area, pop-out rear windows for better ventilation, and a sassy shooting brake style.


This one comes in arrest me red with lots of bespoke pinstripes throughout. Now, as much as I appreciate the skill and artistry of people like Von Dutch and Lyle Fisk, I don’t really go for a lot of frilly artwork on my cars. That’s not to say however, that this car’s artistry might not just resonate with some potential buyer.

The body beneath the paint looks to be in serviceable condition. That’s perhaps because it’s spent some time being towed behind a bigger vehicle that blocked chipping stones and grinding dust. The car comes with both a collapsable tow bar and mount for the nose, which makes it a perfect RV drag-behind, or an easy tow home should it break down. You don’t see that everyday.


You don’t generally see sheepskin seat covers in red either. That’s what this car rocks, and they give the interior the look of a lamb chop abattoir. The upholstery beneath them goes unexposed so we can’t tell what, if anything, is hiding there. The rest of the interior however, looks okay.


This is not a GSi so it likely sports the 95-horsepower SOHC 1.6-litre four, instead of that model’s 130-horse DOHC unit. That’s okay since the hotter mill will fit, and you get a five speed stick to play with to make the most of what it does have to offer.


The ad says it’s a one-owner car (again, I’m pretty sure it’s not Gerry), and sports just 69,000 miles on the clock. The tires are new, the wheels are kind of ugly, and the price is $3,990.

What do you think about that price? Is that a fair deal to drive—or tow—home this Geo? Or, is that too much to weather this Storm?


You decide!


Portland, OR Craigslist, or go here if the ad disappears.

H/T to WindAdvisory for the hookup!

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About the author

Rob Emslie

Rob Emslie is a contributing writer for Jalopnik. He has too many cars, and not enough time to work on them all.