Today’s Nice Price or Crack Pipe Chevy B-series takes a school bus and turns it into a cool bus. It’s still priced to sell because its brakes are dragging, but could that price itself be in need of a break?
Imagine this scenario if you will: you fish a freshly laid cat turd out of the litter box—still sickening soft and warm, and smelling pungently of Whiskas and cat ass—and you drop it safely in a container.
You use an Almond Roca tin for obvious reasons and sock it away for safe keeping for, of I don’t know, perhaps eight or nine years. At the end of that time you pull it out, take a bunch of glamor shots of it, and then offer it up on the online classifieds noting that it’s a rare Abyssinian product and that’s never seen snow.
Now, I realize that this is an extreme and unflattering analogy to yesterday’s 25-mile 2009 Pontiac Solstice GXP Coupe, but then the massive 96-percent Crack Pipe vote its $49,000 price tag received was pretty extreme too.
When I was a kid I built a LOT of scale models. I also sniffed a lot of glue, but then, we’re not here to talk about me. There was the requisite WWII airplanes and naval ships, plus an occasional motorcycle, but my favorites were always the cars.
Near the top of those was the twin-engine S’COOL Bus by Monogram Models. What I liked the most about this model was the two sheets of orange-tined acetate that slid into the side windows. These were stenciled with scenes of kids behaving badly in the bus. Heck, I think there might have even been a skunk involved in one scene. When you’re twelve, that is hysterical.
The base for the drag racing S’COOL Bus was a Chevy B-series bus, an example of which we have today.
Okay, so this 1988 Chevy B-series School Bus isn’t as wild as the Monogram model of my youth, but it’s still been modded for fun, and would make any field trip a whole lot trippier.
Now, a point about the ad for this bus before we get started. It claims that the engine has ten cylinders. Um, no.
There were only three engines offered in this generation of B-series and those were all V8s. Seeing as the ad says it drinks gas and not diesel, that narrows the choices down to either the 366 or 427 cubic-inch mills. The 366 was a long-serving truck motor, while a version of the 427 also did time in the Corvette.
Okay, with that out of the way, let’s party!
The bus has had most of the seating rearranged into a sort of bar lounge configuration and the rear space has been opened up for a stripper pole. That sort of acrobatic accessory is great for gaining flexibility and getting in your daily cardo so think of all the money you’d save on a gym membership if you owned this bus.
There’s also party lights, extreme animal prints, and oddly enough some faux brickwork in the back to tie the whole space together. Honestly, this bus looks like something you could shuttle a gaggle of grannies to a knitting convention in during the day, and then on their pub crawl that same night. It’s just that flexible.
The only thing this party bus needs is some curtains. No one wants to use that stripper pole when the nuns in the Malibu one lane over can see you. That ain’t right!
Okay, so the other thing it needs is some brake work. Curtains and brake work are all this bus needs. The seller says that the rear brakes are dragging like a Terrance Malik movie.
The B-series rocks hydraulic brakes with some big-ass drums in the back so you needn’t worry about dealing with air brakes or anything. You do have to contend with popping a bunch of almost impossible to access springs. Seriously, I hate drum brakes.
It’s because of the brakes that the seller advises to have the bus towed home. That or drive it in second at 15 miles per hour the entire way and then enjoy warming your hands on the glowing rear drums.
On the plus side, the seller says all the flashing bus lights still work, and that he’s titled it as an RV instead of a commercial bus. He says that saves on registration fees. In Maryland at least. It also doesn’t require a commercial license to drive, just the ability to use a stick shift.
Why would you sell something as unique and desirable as this party bus? Well, the seller is apparently in a band, and they seemingly don’t need it as gig-to-gig transportation anymore. Maybe when Jake gets out of Joliet, but until then their loss is somebody else’s gain.
That gain costs a mere $1,100, and pound for pound that makes this the biggest bargain NPOCP candidate in a long time. If you’re good with brakes, and even better gathering revelers, you could easily have this black beauty ready for a viewing party for this weekend’s NBA All Star Game, or just honing your own pole work.
What’s your take on this party bus and that $1,100 asking? Does that make you want to party on? Or, does that price have you wanting to take the seller back to school?
H/T to Handlebar for the hookup!
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