For $10,000, KISS My Ass-Engined Car

Do you like classic rock? How about classic VWs? Today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe classic rock radio station promotional VW brings them together in one KISS-themed package. Its price however may be the KISS of death.

Where would classic rock be without the British? From the Beatles to England Dan and John Ford (Prefect) Coley – the Brits have long been a staple of that dying radio genre. And for 82% of you, the best classic Brit-rock is heard while driving a classic Brit car, and yesterday's 1970 Triumph TR6 was priced to rock your world very nicely.

But no one rocks like KISS. Hell, they wanna' rock all night and party every day! And they proved that nothing more fully expresses the machismo of power chord rock like full makeup and high heel shoes. . .

Okay look, everybody probably knows who KISS was, and you probably still hold them responsible for acts like Insane Clown Posse and the freakishly high number of dwarf KISS cover bands. Still, they did carve out a unique niche in rock history catering to both headbanger and homoerotic aficionado. In addition to the face paint, concert pyrotechnics, and power chord rockers that were intended to hit you from the radio like a dick in the face, one of the things for which KISS was known was Gene Simmons' cunning linguist of a tongue. Rumor was, back in the day, that Simmons had received a tongue graft, creating the massive muscle and allowing him the ability to sense 16 different levels of Umami.

Today's 1970 103.5 The Fox promo VW has a rough approximation of Simmons' lady pleaser, seemingly in 1:1 scale. In addition to that lurid pink hood ornament there's Gene's shaggy head and gaping maw wrapped around the roof. This may excite diehard KISS fans, but it's likely the stuff of nightmares for the rest of us.

The car was created for Colorado's 103.5 The Fox, a station where apparently the '70s went to die. I don't know when it was built, I couldn't tell you if there are three more Beetles out there sporting, respectively, Starchild, Space Ace, or Catman livery, but the Demon here probably represents enough for the rest of them. Being more of a Motörhead fan myself, I lost interest researching this thing after the first Google page.

The car is presently undergoing restoration – and you can see in this earlier pic what it will likely look like when done. According to the ad, it has already received a new engine, tires and wheels, as well as a new floorpan. The paint is appropriately enough metalflake black. The pictures in the ad show the car without its front fenders, but the claim is that they will be reattached and in fact the whole restoration will be done in 40 days. That's just in time for the August 8 concert at the ironically named Comfort Dental Amphitheatre by none other than KISS and fellow sexagenarian party rockers MÖTLEY CRÜE.

Attending that concert would be the perfect reason to buy and drive this beetle. Other reasons may include – parking it in front of the home of a hated ex, making Rick Santorum angry and aroused, and pretty much ensuring that everyone gets out of your way on the freeway, lest they get Gene Simmons' tongue up their tailpipe.

So it's probably not something that you'd be taking granny to church in on Sundays but geez who wouldn't have wanted to roll into the high school parking lot in this thing – back in 1977? Seeing as it's 2012, and if you're a big enough KISS fan to still want to see them in concert – sans irony – then you probably don't have the $10,000 the seller is claiming the completed car will command. I'm not judging you for your unflagging affiliation with the KISS Army, society already has done that, I'm just saying this is one piece of KISS memorabilia that is likely out of reach of their most ardent fans' bank accounts.

But what if you wanted this for reasons of promotion, nostalgia or kitsch, would paying ten gees be worth it to ride around in Gene's head? Or, is that too many family jewels to ask for something that offers to give you tongue on your first meeting?

You decide!

Denver Craigslist or go here if the ad disappears.

H/T to Jeff for the hookup!

Help me out with NPOCP. Click here to send a me a fixed-price tip, and remember to include your commenter handle.