Elon Musk And Grimes Named Their Kid X Æ A-12 So Here's What We Think That's About UPDATED

Illustration for article titled Elon Musk And Grimes Named Their Kid X Æ A-12 So Heres What We Think Thats About UPDATED

As you may be aware, Elon Musk and Grimes have rubbed their space-genitals together over a Tleilaxu Axolotl tank and crafted themselves a human child. That child is now complete, and it’s a little boy, and, contrary to recent rumors, he’s not named Influenza. That would be ridiculous. Don’t be silly. He’s named X Æ A-12.

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Yep, X Æ A-12 Musk. Here’s Elon’s tweet letting the world—or at least Colombiana there, who for some baffling reason really had to be in the loop—know the name:

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I know what you’re thinking: “X Æ A-12? They named him after my grandmother? But that’s a girl’s name!” But let’s not be so hasty to judge. It’s very likely it’s not pronounced like it looks, so let’s see if we can figure out, based on Elon’s love of dorky, Mensa-member pretentious riddles, how this name could be pronounced.

First, I’m going to bet that initial “X” is not a normal “x.” I bet that’s the Greek letter chi, because that’s sort of name-like and this kind of misdirection is right up Elon’s alley. So, let’s start with that.

After that we have everyone’s favorite dipthong (the second sexiest kind of thong) Æ. This ligature is actually named “Ash,” and is an actual letter in a number of Scandinavian languages.

So, I’m guessing the next part of the name is Ash, and I’m going to assume that Elon chose to name him that after Ash, the android from Ridley Scott’s original Alien movie, the one that tried to kill Sigourney Weaver with a rolled-up porno-magazine and then got decapitated and leaked a lot of robo-milk:

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Illustration for article titled Elon Musk And Grimes Named Their Kid X Æ A-12 So Heres What We Think Thats About UPDATED

So, we’re at Chi Ash. What about that A-12? Well, many are speculating that the A-12 refers to the Lockheed A-12 aircraft, a very cool looking American spy plane from the 1960s that skirted the edge of space, and, given Elon’s interest in aerospace, seems a likely namesake.

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Illustration for article titled Elon Musk And Grimes Named Their Kid X Æ A-12 So Heres What We Think Thats About UPDATED

Now, the A-12 went by a few names: internal design codes for it were called “Arcangel,” but it was also known as Project Oxcart, and crews named the A-12 the Cygnus.

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So, putting it all together, if you want to yell at Elon Musk’s kid and tell him to stop monkeying around with your car or whatever, I think you’ll need to yell either “Chi Ash Arcangel” or “Chi Ash Cygnus” or “Chi Ash Oxcart!

Personally, I like Chi Ash Oxcart Musk the best.

Also, before you feel too bad about a kid named X Æ A-12 and potential bullies or whatever, remember that his dad is a billionaire. He’ll be fine. Well, probably a little fucked up, but rich and fucked up, which I suppose is better than most of us get.

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UPDATE: New-mother Grimes has officially weighed in with an explainer:

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...and, of course, Elon couldn’t walk over to her, recovering from childbirth, to help her correct her airplane name typo? Really, Elon? You had to do that on Twitter, like that? Come on, man.

Anyway, it looks like the X is just...an X? And maybe crossed swords? And the Æ thing is “elven spelling” of AI? Elves had AI? Grimes has elvish ancestry? Did her family have to change her Elvish name at Ellis Island, like all those other elves?

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So, how is that pronounced, then? Ai? Aigh-eye? Aigh?

And the A-12 part I guess is just Arcangel. And I’m not sure how

Illustration for article titled Elon Musk And Grimes Named Their Kid X Æ A-12 So Heres What We Think Thats About UPDATED
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Illustration for article titled Elon Musk And Grimes Named Their Kid X Æ A-12 So Heres What We Think Thats About UPDATED

metal rat

fits in.

So, I guess the kid’s name is pronounced X Ai Arcangel (ecks aigh arcangel)? Is that right?

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Good luck, kid.

Senior Editor, Jalopnik • Running: 1973 VW Beetle, 2006 Scion xB, 1990 Nissan Pao, 1991 Yugo GV Plus, 2020 Changli EV • Not-so-running: 1973 Reliant Scimitar, 1977 Dodge Tioga RV (also, buy my book!)

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DISCUSSION

adohatos
A Drop of Hell, A Touch of Strange

Well, I knew that snake was my own sweet dad
From a worn-out picture that my mother’d had
And I knew that scar on his cheek and his evil eye
He was big and bent and gray and old
And I looked at him and my blood ran cold
And I said: “My name is ‘Sue X Æ A-12!’ How do you do!?

Now you gonna die!”

Yeah that’s what I told ‘em

-Johnny Cashapp circa 2045