Cyber > Super?

Illustration for article titled Cyber gt; Super?
Screenshot: GMC
Truck YeahThe trucks are good!

There’s a new Hummer EV out today and GMC seems into the idea of naming it a “supertruck.” There is no way this exists without the context of the other hi-power electric truck that nobody yet owns, the Cybertruck. We must ask: is cyber more better than super?

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Another question: are there other appendages we have affixed to trucks that are superior to both cyber and super? “Monster” is an excellent truck modifier, as is “mini.” Neither one is as big as “semi,” but both exist in the same order as “trophy.”

As for how much we can stretch what counts as a modifier, “short course” is ironically too long, whereas “NAS” is too short to really count. “Forward-control” also describes singularly wonderful trucking machines, but also doesn’t seem to fit. Certainly it doesn’t line up in the same way as “dump,” “tow,” “garbage,” or “box.”

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Let us also not forget other job-oriented affixations, such as “fire,” “milk,” “tanker,” and the catch-all that is “pickup.” Of all of these terms, perhaps “fire” is the one that has the most inherent power, the one that most clearly makes the truck in question more instantly awesome and capable. its influence is so great as to make any combination with it into a comedy. A “monster box truck” would be cool. A “monster firetruck” would be a joke.

On a related note, a trophy dump truck would be excellent, as would a NASCAR garbage truck.

It is also possible that there are other terms that could be applied to the front of “truck” that could denote even greater heights and wonders. “Megatruck” is probably too goofy. “Ultratruck” definitely is. “Gargantruck” is awkward. “Robotruck” is exciting, but a little bland.

I don’t know what will be the next great truck word, but there has to be something.

Raphael Orlove is features editor for Jalopnik.

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DISCUSSION

hammerheadfistpunch
HammerheadFistpunch

I’m waiting for the gigatruck. Petatruck is also good, but probably bad advice generally.