COTD: What happens in Blackpool stays in Blackpool edition

Illustration for article titled COTD: What happens in Blackpool stays in Blackpool edition

Thankfully, by the time normal people wake tomorrow, the worst of the Royal Wedding should have passed by, including run-up stories such as NPR's report from Blackpool, "England's Las Vegas," where a 53-year-old housekeeper Sue Garnett promised to show everyone a good time. If the sound of Ms. Garnett's voice doesn't exactly conjure the image of non-stop celebrations, then you know how OohErMissus felt upon hearing the dulcet tones of the Scion FR-S concept:

Hrm. This is like the first time I heard Kathy Ireland speak in 'Alien From LA'.

Here you had this gorgeous gal, gracing the covers of everything on the cruder side of quantum mechanics textbooks - spectacular to behold, well rounded and amply nubile in just the right areas, curves like a sinfully sibilant serpentine specimen, inviting you to imagine her dressed in nothing but 6 yards of Saran Wrap and 4 inches of electrical tape. Ah, the loveliness.

But then you heard her speak. And the voice of this same lovely woman was apparently stolen from a helium-sucking mousy 35-year old woman from a small town outside of Connecticut whose favorite hobbies include crochet, reading books in a comfortable dressing gown, and having tea & biccies in the afternoons with three of her favorite stuffed animals. It almost made you want to go all Sartre (Nothingness! I embrace you!)... or maybe not. But yes, it was disappointing. Form of an angel, but a voice not quite up to snuff, as all the angels in Heaven had decided they'd like to keep their pipes, thankyooou....

OK, I understand that this car isn't the final product, and that sometimes, things aren't completely polished. Yes, things can be better in production form than in the concept. But come on! The idea of a concept is to awe you, to do everything it can to get the idea of having it stuck in your head.

That's where a lot of concepts fail - sure, it has scads of features we haven't seen before, but who in the Hell needs an integrated dog kennel with DVD capability and a pushbutton that invites 15 other drivers to have coffee with you at the nearest Starbucks? This is the time you drop in that V8, even when your production model will only have a V4. This is the time where you put on all of the silly fins, the wide flares, the overly-styled bodykitting! Because this is your chance to be that mental burr that sticks in people's heads, and steers you into buying the eventual evolution of your car.

And you sure as heck won't do it putting a Husquavara soundtrack to your well-sculpted sports car!



Congratulations, Mr. OohErMissus, on COTD today! I am pleased to award you with a scissor-door Scion. This lovely lady with the lovely thingy on her leg will deliver it to you very soon. Nice job!