Today we told the story of UK cops pulling over someone who was driving a headlight-less Peugeot 206, using vice grips as a steering wheel and a bucket as a seat. For the record, I would never do such a thing. Ever. Probably.

Commenter DrJohannVegas doesn’t believe this:

I could see how DrJohannVegas might be unconvinced, since I have driven a shitty old 1948 Willys 1,300 miles on public roads, and I’ve somehow limped a rotted XJ and a similarly-rotted Grand Wagoneer across this nation’s great highway system.

Sure, the Wagoneer’s steering wheel was flopping around quite a bit before I had that fixed, and the Willys’ still flops around, since I’m missing a bearing. But, for the record, the wheel was always there!

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And also, I’ve never sat on a bucket. A gas tank with a trash bag-covered pillow bungie-corded to it? Sure. But that’s much better and safer!

And also, I’ve never driven on public roads without lights. That would be irresponsible.

Okay, there was the time in Michigan that I got pulled over in the J10 pickup for not having taillights. And a cop did get me in Utah when a short blew my 1948 Willys’ fuse, and left me light-less. But other than those two, I’ve never driven without lights!

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Actually, my Grand Wagoneer’s taillights and dash lights quit working a few weeks ago, and as a temporary “fix,” I lightly placed my left foot on the brake pedal while driving. And also, I had some lighting problems with my XJ:

Crap. DrJohannVegas, you might be right! And helping me realize my problems, I gift you a song about broken things: