'Car thongs' are the new 'truck nutz'

Illustration for article titled 'Car thongs' are the new 'truck nutz'

We've just learned that Harry Balz Novelties, the world's largest supplier of auto floor mats, spinners and off-brand feminine hygiene napkins, will finally shift their massive manufacturing might from 'Truck Nutz' — the most profitable product in the company's history.


Yes, we're told that thanks to crossovers being the latest automotive "It" girl form factor — "Car thongs" are the now the new 'truck nutz.' Yup, you heard it here first.

Shown here last year during a final pre-production fitting on a camo'd Subaru Impreza, the pink panties are designed to be the more feminine way for drivers of crossovers, station wagons, and minivans to — like Sears — subtly show their softer side. Sales projections are said to correlate strongly with "Desperate Housewives" viewership, and a Kim Kardashian endorsement is reportedly in the works.

Expect them to drop soon in the new ladies section of your local AutoZone.

(Hat tip to $kaycog!)


Ash78, voting early and often

Wait, you mean creating a new logo for everything in pink wasn't enough to announce "Hey, I'm a chick?"

How about those rear window monograms? Those are extremely popular around here. And IMO, way, way douchey. Always a chick.

Look, lady, if I want to know the gender of the car's driver, I'll do it the old fashioned way: By counting the dents and scratches.