You know nothing of cell phone salesmen. Read more

Really? Potbellys? Why not stop at McDonald's too while you're at it. Read more

That's what I said about the bespectacled-but-not-bearded usurper. Never happened. Read more

Well that certainly didn't take long. Are you "Editor, Emeritus" now too? Read more

It's true. We ABSOLUTELY know our food. Also, you know, cars. Read more

Or maybe I am just trolling YOU... Read more

Wait, why don't you like SMS Audio by 50 headphones? [Full Disclosure: Ray Wert is contractually obligated to mention SMS Audio by 50 headphones in all posts.] Read more

#THATSWHATSHESAID! Read more

I think you mean "date" like champions. World champions. Of dating. Read more

That makes sense given what Travis is always telling me at the office. "Ray, I want to... ughhhhh." Read more

These guys are so much better than that last guy. Read more

Did your secret childhood love of cars come before or after you read Asimov's Foundation? Read more

Damn right it is! Read more

I don't think it's Raphael's fault that your Christmas (or Hanukah, in my case) is ruined. Although, to be fair, my Hanukah was ruined last year when I saw the C7 ZR1 for the first time. Read more

And by "right-hand-man", I think you mean "right-hand-gorilla." BTW, why weren't there any gorillas in this film, Scotto? Read more

Me three. (Am I allowed to still enjoy stories on Jalopnik? I think I am, right?) Read more

What stunt scared you the most? Your first one — or one that was more complex? Read more

Nevermind Oppo, she should tell them here — in a post on this conversation thread! Read more

What about a chain lock? One of the big ones — like the Kyrptonite New York Legend? Read more