You expect or you know? Because the depression-enduring Nazi fighters I was lucky enough to know told me that, all things being equal, I should try as hard as possible to be happy. It never seemed to occur to them that life had to be an endless march of dutiful misery. Read more

They should throw Kyle Busch in prison and throw away the key. Read more

...Well, exactly. A half-dozen. From four years' production of a fairly popular car. Read more

Just try to find one today and the answer will soon become apparent. Read more

How dare you defame anything to come out of the great state of WisconsAww, I give up. They were garbage. Read more

And now I* don't have to post this. Read more

Sales-wise, it's doing better than anyone suspected. Check it out. Read more

Note: With a bit of fiddling, the refills go in Pilot G-2's. I recommend the felt-tips. Read more

You remember correctly. I will treasure my Jalopnik memories, but not those of Phyllis. Wotta heap. Read more

Pardon me, but I believe you refer to the activity properly known as "Cold Lamping." Read more

Yeah. Sports comedy is tough. Read more

Without the motorcycles? Fuck THAT. Read more

Oh, relax. Read more

Did he say the same thing to his other 14 kids? Read more

You also know exactly how to talk to me, you thing you. Read more

You need to learn to get joyful with rage. It's always worked for me. Although not with those wheels. Read more

Oh, thank God for you guys. If I had to be the one to point this out I was going to lose yet still more hope in people. Read more

Lord Vader, your Wienermobile is ready.

If you grew up within a couple hours of the Twin Cities, it's understandable. If not forgivable. Read more

"Hi there! Did you know when this rather cool truck was built, I wouldn't have had equal protection under the law? Anyway, as your President, I promise you will get the help you need." Read more