Afroduck Guilty! Convicted Speeder Remains At Large

Illustration for article titled Afroduck Guilty! Convicted Speeder Remains At Large

Adam Tang is nowhere to be found as a Manhattan jury found him guilty of reckless endangerment in the 2nd degree and reckless driving today. He faces up to a year of jail time... if he hasn't fled to Canada already.


Afroduck did not disappear today — he disappeared days ago. He was last seen on Monday when he declined to take the stand in court. Yesterday he was expected to show for the closing statements from his defense lawyer and the prosecuting ADA, but could not be found in court, at his apartment, or in any local jail, hospital, or morgue.


Jokes flew around the courtroom that Afroduck was on en route to Canada, if he wasn't back home in his native country already. "Wouldn't it be funny if he posted a video of him racing to the border," said one person in the court I shall not name.

Of course, one might say it would be wise for Afroduck to make it back to Canada. He could have crossed the border with citizenship papers (his passport had been seized ages ago). If he was found not guilty, he could easily return home.

Now that he's been found guilty, he could be locked into the county, put in jail, then deported. In Canada, he would only have to stay out of the US, unlikely to be extradited for his mere misdemeanor charges. The judge will determine his exact sentence.

While I wish that Afroduck had been given a more symbolic punishment, something like having to fill in all the potholes on his route, there was really no way he could be let off. Not after averaging a mile a minute around the 24-mile loop of Manhattan's border highways. Not after posting a video of his record long, long, long before the year's worth of the statute of limitations ran out. Not in De Blasio's New York. Not during the midst of Vision Zero. Not after pissing off two different police administrations.

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"And so, the hunt is on for Adam Tang."

[turns towards camera]

"It's Duck season."

-Raphael "Danger" Orlove: Courtroom Detective