Dear International Media Person,
Thank you so much for accepting our invitation to cover the Grand Prix of Bahrain, the most excellent race in the most wonderful place on earth.
For those of you here I'm sure you can smell the excitement in the air and see the flashing lights of homemade fireworks from regular Bahrainis excited about the race! They're so enthused they've stopped eating so they can pig out at the concession stands at our wonderful track!
Of course, no pork will be served. It's just an expression. Lighten up!
For those of you en route here are some tips for helping to understand and enjoy our race, assuming you didn't make a mistake filing your visa. We have a very complex visa system and, you know, maybe you got confused.
First, always remember to keep orange stickers we've given you on your camera gear. We love our cameras in Bahrain and we'd hate to accidentally take your camera thinking it was our camera.
Second, Bahrainis are so so friendly and will try to approach your car and offer your a drink. The most polite response, in our society, is to quickly drive on the opposite direction. This may seem rude, but trust us, it's what we want.
Third, our citizens love LARP (Live Action Role-Playing Game) and are in the midst of a giant recreation of the fall of Iran. So, if you see police running around with shotguns just know they're only pretend shotguns. Your friends in the press should have already briefed you on this.
Most importantly, have a good time! Like our good friend Kimi Raikkonen said, "It's just like any other race weekend. Nothing has really changed." And, as we all know, Kimi is the calm voice of racing.
I look forward to seeing you near the track (and absolutely nowhere else, please!) my friends!
All the best and long live King Hamad bin Isa bin Salman Al Khalifa!
Your Friend,
Zayed R. Alzayani
Proud Chairman of Bahrain International Circuit
Photo: AP