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The ten funniest things Kimi Raikkonen said in his NASCAR debut

Illustration for article titled The ten funniest things Kimi Raikkonen said in his NASCAR debut

If you weren't listening to Kimi Raikkonen's in-car audio during his NASCAR Nationwide series debut yesterday (he raced a truck last week), you missed some gems. During the race he managed to curse his car, his burning ass, and the lack of hydration.

Luckily Jeff Gluck, Motorsports Editor at SBNation.com, captured some of the funnier exchanges during Kimi's first race and shared them via Twitter. We present to you the ten funniest things Kimi Raikkonen said in his Nascar Nationwide series debut at the Top Gear 300.

Illustration for article titled The ten funniest things Kimi Raikkonen said in his NASCAR debut

"I don't understand how this car can be so hot. My ass is even burning in here!"

Kimi decided not to wear heat shields because heat had not been an issue in the truck he raced the week beforehand. It appears it certainly became one.

"Why you shouting on the fucking radio?"

Water bottle confusion also plagued Raikkonen throughout the race. After a crew member gave Kimi an empty bottle, the crew chief started yelling. Kimi quickly told them to take it off the air.

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Illustration for article titled The ten funniest things Kimi Raikkonen said in his NASCAR debut

"I am out of the drink again. It's so small. Mark has to make sure it's completely full, because it is too small."

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As the liquid related chaos continues, it becomes obvious the Iceman just can't get enough to drink.

"We're so fucking shit, it's unbelievable."

Regardless of his 27th place finish and uncertain racing future it became clear pretty quickly that Kimi certainly sounds like a NASCAR driver.

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Illustration for article titled The ten funniest things Kimi Raikkonen said in his NASCAR debut

"Did you see how fucking bad it is? I cannot even turn the car into the corner. ..And remember, I need water."

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As he was about to get lapped, Raikkonen stuck with his pre-existing strategy of asking for more water and complaining about the car.

"I need my drinking water. Hey!! Give me my drinking water!!!"

Jeff Gluck thinks Kimi might have said "bottle" instead of "water" as he was coming into the pit. We hope his second interpretation was correct because "Give me my drinking bottle" could quickly become the official catchphrase of NASCAR fans worldwide.

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Illustration for article titled The ten funniest things Kimi Raikkonen said in his NASCAR debut

"You just have to do what you have to do to get fast laps."

In response to Kimi's spotter pointing out he is on old tires and his car is handling accordingly. We aren't really sure what it means either.

"The car is just so fucking bad (mumble mumble)."

Who knows what the mumbles were exactly, but a cry for more drink wouldn't be a bad guess.

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Illustration for article titled The ten funniest things Kimi Raikkonen said in his NASCAR debut

"The car is shit because I cannot get it turned! It is so frustrating! I cannot get the fucking car turned!"

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This one does a nice job explaining itself.


Illustration for article titled The ten funniest things Kimi Raikkonen said in his NASCAR debut

"Don't talk about other things on the radio"

Kimi quickly made it clear after his spotter began discussing an incident on track he didn't want to hear about it. We imagine this was well received in the pits where the crew had been listening to Raikkonen's burning feet complaints and demands for more water the whole race.

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DISCUSSION

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zerobandwidth

So, Race Team 2012, starring Kimi Raikkonnen and Danica Patrick, is pretty much a horror movie for crew chiefs.

Someone make this movie.