1988 Pontiac Fiero Formula for $5,000?

Illustration for article titled 1988 Pontiac Fiero Formula for $5,000?
Nice Price Or No DiceIs this used car a good deal? You decide!

If you have unsightly open spaces on your driveway or front lawn, Nice Price or Crack Pipe Fieros has an AMAZING offer for you. We have the fast-acting coverup that will actually save you money!


Yesterday, with an 55% vote of confidence, the Aston Martin Vanquish avoided crackpipeddom barely by the skin of its teeth- just like Jimmy B in the third act of damn-near any of his Ian Fleming-based thrillers.

Today, we have a car that Bond never drove- a 1988 Pontiac Fiero Formula with an asking price of just $5,000. The seller claims that the engine is missing out and the brakes are sponage, so it's got that going for it. Other than those foibles, it appears pretty complete and clean. The shiny red paint is amazingly still sticking to the RIM plastic body panels, and it has a generous push bar spoiler on the back deck.


If that's not enough, the seller is ALSO throwing in an '85 Fiero SE. . . with an Olds 403 V8 shoved up its bum. Operators are standing by. So that's two Fieros (Fieri? Fierests?) for the price of one. BUT WAIT, this seller is willing to part with yet another Fiero- a 1986 GT with the twin cam 3.4 in it. That engine has a cooked bearing, but he also happens to have a low-mileage 3.4 that he'll throw in, AT NO EXTRA COST! And you don't even have to call within the next ten minutes to seal the deal. All this, for one low price!

That's right, you get three Fieros for five grand, with not an iron duke between them. And there's that one with the Olds engine in it. That's an as seen on TV mash up of two failed brands. . . FOR THE PRICE OF ONE!

When you leave home, without having a car in the driveway or on the front lawn, you're advertising to criminals; I'm not home, come and rob me. But now you can put a stop to the robberies, and enjoy hours of away-from-home peace of mind with the Fiero, Custom Looks Like I'm Home Crime Stopping System for a low, low price of only $5,000. For that price you get; not one, not two, but THREE Fieros. It'll look like you're having a party. No criminal in his right mind would rob a house when there's a party going on! And with the amazing reduction in theft, that's like money in your pocket.

So, three Fieros for five grand. Is that a price that makes you want to ACT NOW? Or is that less Shamwow and more ShamWhoa?


You decide!

Illustration for article titled 1988 Pontiac Fiero Formula for $5,000?
Illustration for article titled 1988 Pontiac Fiero Formula for $5,000?

eBay, or go here if the ad is no longer sold in stores! Hat tip to Tomsk!

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Manwich - now Keto-Friendly

Hmmm... three Fieros... three engines.

All you need to do is structure the deal so that each Fiero only costs "$400", then have the extra 3.4 and the Olds 403 sold for "$100". So that adds up to $1400. Then pay the guy another $3600 for the 3.4L DOHC with the bearing problem on a separate bill.

You end up with two 24 Hours of Lemons cars and one parts car.

So I'm voting Nice Price.