Typically, when cars from the old country make the trip across the Atlantic, they get their cojones lopped. However, that's not the case with today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe Bimmer, which should sound off like it's got a pair.
BMW's halo coupe of the eighties today runs the gamut from sad Pick-A-Part cast off, to LeMons racer, to pristine owner-babied survivor. Today's 1985 635 CSI hails from the latter group, and is so nice it doesn't look like it was just babied, it looks like it was fetus'd. Proudly wearing an aesthetic burgundy suit and later E31 wheels, this low-mileage example also benefits from being the more rare-in-the-states Euro model.
The differences are; more horsepower, less bumpers, headrests for the ice cream scoop back seats, and a whole lot of German on the dashboard (WARNBLINKER!) with which to entertain and confuse your friends. The shark-nose prow especially benefits from the lack of insurance company mandated nanny bumpers, and the lower valance on these cars represents one of the most aggressive BMW has ever offered. The seller claims the upholstery in this car is a special order, and it looks like it was made out of the shaved backs of endangered gorillas or perhaps unlucky Munich hobos, but whatever the source it possesses the creepy patina of something you'd have to step on to kill while attempting to escape Silent Hill.
Popping the hood sadly doesn't reveal the M's 282-bhp motor, but the 3,430-cc SOHC six that powers the CSI is no slouch either - the Euro engine getting a 10:1 compression ratio for 218-bhp at 5,200 rpm. The Motronic injection on these cars is run off an eprom and flashing that can corral even more ponies should those that the factory crammed in there not be enough. Another benefit of this being a continental car rather than a federal one is the gearbox. While most U.S. 635s were fitted with the lazy yank's preference; a slusher, the tight T-shirt wearing industrial techno-listeners in das Vaterland still liked to row their own, and hence this car has a five-speed Getrag 265 (available in '85 only) backing up the M30. Although again, the shift boot appears to be made from the ass flesh of a Bonobo. Despite that fact making the wearing of driving gloves mandatory with this car, the 54,000 miles on the clock makes its consideration equally requisite. That few, and the general condition, make this a 6 that stands out for more reasons than the Silence of the Lambs killer having done the seats ( It rubs the lotion on its skin...).
This is a dealer-offered car, and they have provided a lot of Bayerische Motoren Werke Pron in the ad. They've also emptied about a 55-gallon drum's worth of Armor All on the interior, meaning getting the car home will be no mean feat as you are likely to either be blinded by the glare off the angular, and thankfully un-cracked, '80s dash, or face sliding out of the creepy seats, and then a window, when aggressively searching for your first apex.
But getting it home means you'd first have to deal with the price, which in this BMW's case means coming up with a fin shy of twelve large to make the Buy It Now fairy a happy camper. That's not a lot of cheddar, and this looks like one of the most pristine examples of BMW's ‘80s range-topper you're likely to find. But that's not to say that the M30 won't suddenly let go in your driveway, or that the guibo won't shred itself on the way home, opening you up to even larger impositions on your bank account. But even if it did it probably wouldn't be that bad, and you can take comfort in the knowledge that many a 6-series has found Pick A Part its final resting place, just waiting for you to denude them of their treasures.
So what do you think of $11,995 for this sweet 635CSI? Does that price for this Euro-coupe make you think the Crime Scene Investigation is all wrapped up? Or, does that price make this a CSI that's to be continued?
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