Mitsubishi Delica Space Gear, SCCA BMW Z3, 3UZ Porsche 944: The Dopest Cars I Found For Sale Online

This NB Miata is both lifted and turbocharged. Are you sold? Well, you should be. This is almost certainly not the fastest Miata around a track or the most capable off-road, but you’re probably not the fastest or most capable driver. What this Miata almost certainly is, however, is the most fun.

Can you imagine the body roll? This NB sits on Tein coils, and I genuinely can’t tell if it’s set to be firm or loose. The only way to find out is to drive it, and you should just skip everything else and do that. Drive it. Home from the purchase, preferably.

GONNA GET YOU

LIKE A SPACE GEAR

WOAH-OH-OH-OH

This Delica has some truly heinous wheels, but you can fix that under your ownership. Shrink them down, make up the size with more tire, and have the offroad van of your dreams.

The seller of this Formula Mazda claims to “have only used the car for track days,” and I would love to know what else they think a buyer would suspect them of using the car for. It doesn’t exactly have a ton of grocery-getting room, though I guess you could sit a toddler or three on the rear wing to bring the kids home from school.

If you get this genuine real-life open-wheel race car, you should probably also only drive it on the track. I can’t imagine it’s very practical for dailying, given the lack of ground clearance or a windshield. I know you’re going to get in the comments and say that actually it’d be totally fine for you, you’re built different, and while I respect that I cannot live your life.

Who makes a Gold Wing scrambler? I’m not mad, I’m not disappointed, I’m utterly fascinated. This is the kind of revisionism that gives us scrambler-styled bikes that can’t actually scramble, but this GL is so pretty that I simply don’t care. It’s too heavy for scrambling, not faired enough for the highway? Shut up. Look at those intakes.

If you want a boxer scrambler but don’t want to put up with an old BMW, this is about your only option. Also, if you want a boxer scrambler that isn’t a BMW, you have incredibly specific tastes and I want to know how that bleeds into the rest of your life. How’s the interior of your home decorated? Send me a picture of your kitchen.

Did you know that Toyota made double-cab HiAces, and did you know that you can just import them? The recommendations I make in What Car Should You Buy are about to get a whole lot weirder. They will never recover.

This HiAce is a six-seater with full undercoating, making it perhaps the most rustproof way to move five other people through offroad terrain. I assume you do this often, given that you clicked onto this slide.

I’ve somehow found myself in a Facebook buy and sell group for HPDE and race cars, and I’m passing the spoils on to you. Chief among them is this fully race-prepped Z3, with an SCCA logbook and a paint scheme modeled after everyone’s favorite American air superiority propaganda: The Blue Angels.

This Z3 sits on the same Tire Rack-special wheels that my dad once used as snow tires on his former E93 M3, so there’s almost certainly room to shave unsprung weight off each corner with some RPF1s here. Think about the lap times, don’t think about how you won’t be able to register this because it doesn’t have a title. It’s fine. Shhhhhh.

This is a Pontiac Grand Prix. This Pontiac Grand Prix has a tube front end. And a 496 cubic inch big block Chevy engine. Which is fed by an absolutely massive turbo. What do you think, does this earn its way into Dopeness?

Of course it does, because this Grand Prix is incredible. Makers of high performance 496es claim 600 horsepower naturally aspirated, and this car will likely make much more than that once it’s finished. You do have to finish it, yeah. It’ll be worth it, I promise.

I’m trying to get my roommate into motorcycling, and she’s got her heart absolutely set on an INT650 in this colorway. Do any bored millionaires want to contribute to the cause of getting more cool Brooklyn women onto bikes? I know that’s sort of the target demographic for Jalopnik.

If you don’t want to buy this Enfield for my roommate, though, you should still consider it for yourself. That 650 engine is just a gem, and the INT650 perfectly hits that compact flat-seat style that’s so lacking in the modern motorcycle world. Only if you’re really sure you don’t want to buy it for my roommate, though. Venmo in bio.

(This is a joke, do not Venmo me.)

The seller of this Samurai claims the engine has only 65 miles, which is an absolute tragedy unless they’re a professional Samurai restorer. To have such a perfect little off-roader, in what seems to be such perfect condition, only to not drive it — it’s a mindset I cannot understand.

All the better for you, though, because you can get a Samurai that looks near-new for under $10,000. I don’t know that I love the tan top, but that’s a small gripe in comparison to what’s otherwise a fantastic little truck. I love him.

I want you to, just for a second, imagine yourself riding this RZ350. Swinging a leg over, folding down the kick starter, stomping on it to hear the ring-ding-ding-ding of a two-stroke spring to life. The smell, the sensation, the absolute power of a 350cc two-stroke street bike.

Now, imagine the whole bike is cranked up further. Aftermarket head, pistons, crank, valves, everything is more and bigger and faster and just waiting for someone to ride the absolute hell out of it. That someone could be you.

I’m by no means the biggest Mercedes fan, but I am very much a fan of bright orange coupes. Sure, my tastes may run a bit more Veilside RX7, but this 380SL absolutely tugs a very similar heartstring. Look at that color!

This Benz does need a new soft top, though the seller claims it’s only the fabric that needs replacement. That’s sort of an important part of both the “soft” and “top” components of the whole “soft top” thing, but it’s likely a simpler fix that if you needed new hardware. Cloth is easier to get after it’s out of production.

I’m gonna be real with you, friends, I think we’re kind of pushing the limits of what counts as a Mustang here. I would argue this is less of a Mustang than the Mach-E, and I say that with the full knowledge that this is the kind of opinion that gets hitmen sent to my home. Please direct all assassination attempts to [someone please put Andy’s address here].

The presence of a stock floor pan, as this car has, doesn’t make it a production vehicle. Mustangs are production vehicles. This mini stock may be cool as hell, but it’s only debatably a Mustang at all. Again, please direct all hate mail to wherever Andy lives.

The seller of this C/K kept the ad very simple, just four short words: “Texas truck very nice.” It doesn’t say a ton, sure, but it gets the important details out there: Good condition, likely not much rust, and an owner that knows the history. Everything else you can tell by looking at it.

Your eyes, of course, do their own inspection right off the bat. The verdict? This Silverado (the trim, not the model) is absolutely gorgeous. Little flecks of missing paint on an otherwise crisp and shiny body are just perfect for a truck of this age.

The Corvette may be the unassailable king of the GM performance stable, but I’d take a Saturn Sky Redline over the Vette any day. Both somehow feel too big, despite only having two seats, but the Sky is smaller and nimbler than its bigger brother. And, as modded versions show, it’s no slouch.

This Sky has remote reservoir suspension, an EFR turbo with external wastegate, CTS-V brakes, and it runs E47 fuel. It’s as stripped as its class allows, and it’s likely an absolute riot from behind the wheel. Give it a shot for yourself.

We’re seeing an era where Toyota UZ V8s are making their way into all sorts of chassis, and I for one couldn’t be happier about it. The LS has reigned far too long, and it’s time for something else to share in the spotlight. Even better if it’s a V8 without that American heritage behind it.

The seller claims this 944 has a genuine Turbo body, though little else remains of that factory var. The brakes and steering are manual, there’s no AC, and the mill under the hood makes a solid 70 horses more than the old 2.5-liter. Imagine what it’d do if you slapped a turbo on it.