December is nearly here, which means that most folks are going to look at the calendar tomorrow and realize they have a lot of holiday shopping left to do. If you have a car enthusiast in your life — or if you’re the enthusiast who just wants everyone to stop buying you garbage — then this list will tell you exactly what not to buy.
We asked you all yesterday just what you’d hate being given for the holidays — and these are the worst of the worst.
A 3 pack of the Black Ice Little Trees. It says not only does your car stink, but you’re only worth a few bucks.
The Little Trees Black Ice air fresheners smell like every mistake you can make as a woman. Ask me how I know.
Submitted by: John Turner via Facebook
Books, in particular those books filled with pretty pictures but little information.
I have several dozen of these received as gifts over the years, several of them duplicates, given to me by well-meaning friends and family who know I am a ‘car guy.’
AAMOF, I reveived this exact book from an aunt two Christmases in a row.
[picture of Muscle Cars: Kings of the Street from the Golden Era]
While these types of books are interesting, and I appreciate the gesture, I rarely look at them after the first time flipping through. From then on, they just take up space on my book shelf.
I willingly went to extra school specifically to read more books, but this one hits home. There are so many automotive books out there that are just what this commenter describes: photos and nonsense. In a world of excellent books, why spend your money buying someone garbage?
Submitted by: Earthbound Misfit I
Fuelshark
Or, on a related note: A gas station gift card. Can you be more impersonal?
I’m filling everyone’s stockings with Fuel Sharks this year. I mean, did you see those gas prices?
Submitted by: Unacceptably Dry Scones
A stick-on decal when I have no stick-on decals. A magnet can be fine, but if someone has no stickers on their car they probably want to keep it that way.
That or useful things that don’t actually match your car. Like a steering wheel cover, seat cover, floor mats, etc that don’t fit your car because they thought it was one size fits all.
I relate to this one, engineerthefuture. I hate putting stickers directly on anything, whether it’s my car or my laptop. Hence why I’ve ended up with bumper stickers stuck to a shitty laptop protector case.
Submitted by: engineerthefuture
Car cleaning products. I’m picky about what I use and when I use different things, I don’t want the generic mixed bucket of TurtleWax (not slaming their products as do use some, just naming one size fits all gift set) stuff from Wal-Mart. Unless I request something specific when asked don’t buy me anything car cleaning related besides maybe some microfiber towels as can use for stuff around the house at least. I will ask for things when needed, one year I asked for a new buffer as my old one had died, I was very happy and grateful to receive the one I asked for as it was for my primary tool battery ecosystem, it wasn’t a huge surprise but it was not a wasted gift as exactly what I wanted.
TLDR: If someone loves their car don’t get them buckets of washes, waxes, or cleaners they don’t want.
I’ve always seen car cleaning kits as being the automotive equivalent of gifting someone a skincare kit. I have specific needs and goals that a generic Bath & Body Works soap pack simply cannot meet.
Submitted by: CitronC
[Literally just a photo of a Porsche hat]
A man of taste and class, I see.
Submitted by: BrianMadigan
I’m gonna go with branded apparel for a car you don’t actually own.
Unless you’re getting me a Mopar Christmas sweater. Then I will accept.
Submitted by: Shaun Swegman via Facebook
People who buy new cars as gifts probably aren’t concerned about 5-figure transactions.
My vote is those cheap parts store emergency kits. Shitty flashlight? Check. Tiny, worthless blanket? Check. Four bandaids? Check. 12v air compressor that will burn out trying to inflate one flat tire? Check. 3-ft long jumper cables? Check.
You could put together a kit with actually-useful versions of everything you normally find in these things, and it might cost you twice the price.
Honestly, there are so many awesome and helpful automotive emergency items that I just don’t understand the shitty ones. I bought my mom a self jump starter, and she’s called me to tell me how it’s saved her butt multiple times.
Submitted by: Ticallion The Baptist
A steering wheel cover. Pointless.
This is a big recommendation when you’re shopping for women who like cars. Why??????
Submitted by: Tom Gaydos via Facebook
Shitty tools. I do not want anything from Harbor Freight unless I selected it myself knowing exactly what I plan to do with it.
Tools are so personal. You can’t just be buying them for people willy-nilly.
Submitted by: skwimjim
The EMP shield. $500 for what is like a couple wires going to some LEDs in a plastic box. That is Unless your friend or family is an Alex Jones/Q type then it’s probably the best gift ever.
I don’t know that I trust any product manufactured by “Mission America.”
Submitted by: HotSauceIsTheBest
A used BMW
I’d prefer coal.
Submitted by: Saxon Winther via Facebook
A ticket.
Are you speaking from experience?
Submitted by: Knyte
Anything.
Like, I get the psychology behind finding that perfect gift for someone, but that’s more for the gift-giver, not the receiver. But I’m so picky when it comes to what I buy for myself, that I don’t wish that kind of stress on anyone else. If you want to get me something “car related”, get me an Auto Zone gift card like my wife’s grandma got me last year.
My love language is gift giving. You’re gonna take your damn gift, and you’re gonna like it (but I will admittedly have thought deeply ahead of time about exactly what I am purchasing you based on hints or analyzing your interests so there is a great chance that it’s something you will value)!
Submitted by: dbeach84