Isuzu Bighorn Irmscher RS, Cushman Allstate Jetsweep, Plymouth Barracuda: The Dopest Cars I Found For Sale Online

Here’s a car that I could buy by selling one of my existing Smarts plus that spare Volkswagen Jetta SportWagen TDI. I need you to buy this so I don’t have to.

One thing that has always confused me about Smart’s short time in the United States is the fact that the diesel was never brought over. The American public was expecting the Smart Fortwo to be the second coming of the Geo Metro, but Smart brought over its worst engine, scoring just 41 highway mpg in EPA ratings. Back then, owners asked Smart’s then-CEO why the company did it, and we were told it was because the company felt that the engine we got was a good middle ground between economy and speed. Sales numbers would suggest that was wrong.

You can right that wrong with this common rail diesel Fortwo straight from Canada. It should get over 60 mpg in regular everyday driving, and you’ll never worry about the price of fuel. I’ve even known some folks to get over 80 mpg in these. As a bonus, this is a first-generation model, which was never officially imported to the States in the first place.

It’s $7,500 on Facebook Marketplace in Wilmington, Ohio with 66,000 miles and a broken bumper from hitting an animal.

Plymouth’s Barracuda was Chrysler’s answer to the then just emerging sporty compact car (pony car) market. Originally drawn up as a fastback version of the Valiant, the first-generation Barracuda and the Valiant shared a bunch of parts. You’ll easily notice the hood, headlights and quarters as coming from a Valiant.

So, what does a coupe with Valiant parts get? You have a 4.5-liter LA V8 under the hood, connected to a two barrel carb and making 180 HP.

This one was repainted a few years ago with its seats recovered and floors patched. It’s said to be a former California car, and it at least looks the part. It’s $12,000 on Auto Trader in Hobart, Indiana.

This truck was a product of the time when muscle cars became muscle trucks because trucks didn’t have to worry about tight emissions controls. Enter the Dodge Li’l Red Express. This truck was America’s fastest car. It has a version of Chrysler’s 5.9-liter police interceptor V8 making 225 HP.

This one is more than twice as expensive as the last one I featured, but this one is said to have a lot of original parts. And you can drive it as-is right now. It’s $32,000 on Facebook Marketplace in Mt. Dora, Florida.

Audi’s S cars are something magical. Take already cool vehicles, then give them a huge dose of power. Finish with striking paint and wheels. This Audi S4 is just that, and comes in a beautiful Nogaro Blue. It doesn’t end there as you get a 4.2-liter V8 under the hood making 340 HP connected to a manual transmission.

You get all of this plus a laundry list of fresh parts for under 10 large. I feel tempted to buy this for myself. It’s $6,000 on Facebook Marketplace in Winchester, Virginia with 174,000 miles.

Cushman Motor Works (now just Cushman) dates back over a century when the company made engines for all sorts of applications. Cushman’s engines found homes in boats, power equipment, pumps, lawn mowers and more. As Silodrome reports, Cushman pivoted towards building scooters as way to keep selling product through the Great Depression. The scooters were a hit, being a cheap alternative to a car while also finding homes on the battlefields of World War II.

The scooters remained popular after the war as a cheap way to get around. They would later get designs evocative of the jet age. Sears would sell a bunch under its own Allstate brand. That’s what we’re looking at here. This is a Cushman Allstate Jetsweep, a rebadge of the Cushman 722 Pacemaker.

Power comes from a 4.8-HP four stroke paired to a single-speed transmission. This one is said to run and ride and it’s $2,550 on Facebook Marketplace in Brighton, Michigan.

Here’s a vintage TVR sporting pop-up headlights, all kinds of scoops and a drop-top.

The 400SE was introduced in 1988 and is noted to be the last of TVR’s wedge-shaped sports cars. It’s an evolution of the 390SE featuring an engine ever so slightly larger (3,948cc to 3,905cc). That job is a Rover V8 making 275 HP and 270 lb-ft torque. That’s good for a top speed of 145 mph and a sprint to 60 mph under 6 seconds.

This one is said to have some service records. It’s $30,000 on Hemmings by Gateway Classic Cars in Alpharetta, Georgia with 79,604 miles.

Have you ever wanted a second-generation Isuzu Trooper but felt that rear doors were wholly unnecessary? Meet the Bighorn Irmscher RS, or a Trooper that looks like it got shrunken in the car wash.

This SUV is all kinds of rad. Pop open the doors and you’re greeted to a Recaro interior with seats that have a dazzling pattern, and you get sweet features like power folding headed mirrors, headlight washers and all sorts of original documentation. And of course, it’s a 4x4 with low range. The best part is that it shares a 3.2-liter V6 with the Troopers that were officially imported here, making parts easy to find. Oh, and you get a five-speed manual.

It’s $10,950 on Facebook Marketplace in Corona, California with 87,000 miles. Ad courtesy of Obscure Cars for Sale.

If you missed out on buying a Ford F-150 Lightning new, here’s something pretty close. This truck has just 43,808 miles on its odometer and it’s ready to burn some rubber. I’ll let our Rob Emslie take it away:

Built on the standard F-150 standard cab/short bed body style, the second generation Lightning was intended by Ford’s Special Vehicle Team (SVT) to be a bit of a one-trick pony. Given a mere 800-pound carrying capacity and a step-side bed for the smallest amount of room possible, the Lightning certainly wasn’t designed to be a work truck.

Instead, it was designed to go like stink and to be actually able to go around corners. That was all made possible with the SVT modifications, which included a supercharged edition of the 5.4 liter Triton V8, a lowered and better-controlled suspension, and model-specific Goodyear meats on 18-inch alloy wheels.

Power is rated at 380 HP and 450 lb-ft torque.

This one is cherry red and appears to be stock. The price for this super low-mile Lightning is high at $39,900 on CarFax in Fremont, Nebraska.

If you’re looking for muscle car power but in a more recent body, the Chevrolet Impala SS is a great option. It’s large enough that its bumpers are in different zip codes, yet with its black paint and V8 it still grabs the hearts of gearheads everywhere.

The SS badge was dusted off after being dead for about a quarter century. It was then paired with the 9C1 police package and a 5.7-liter LT1 V8 derived from the Camaro. That was good for 260 HP.

The seller doesn’t say a whole lot in the ad, which is annoying, but it’s $18,000 on Facebook Marketplace in Rockford, Illinois.

That’s it for this week! Have you purchased a car from one of these posts? If so, I want to know.

If you know of a weird car for sale on Facebook Marketplace or Craigslist, drop it down in the comments or send it along in an email! If the car’s still for sale, we may feature it in a future post.