Detroit Police Take Trump Unity Bridge And Its Owner Into Custody For 'Riding Dirty'

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The “Trump Unity Bridge” sits parked during a pro-Trump rally in Tujunga, a north neighborhood of Los Angeles, California, August 21, 2020.
The “Trump Unity Bridge” sits parked during a pro-Trump rally in Tujunga, a north neighborhood of Los Angeles, California, August 21, 2020.
Photo: Kyle Grillot / AFP (Getty Images)

If you’ve been keeping an eye on the news the last four years, you may have seen this rolling altar to mediocrity in the background of rallies and protests across the country. The Trump Unity Bridge has been everywhere, from LA to Oklahoma, where it was briefly stolen and then crashed, and back up to its home in Michigan. It seems it will stay there for a while, as Detroit police seized the trailer Friday, along with its owner Livonia, Mich., resident Rob Cortis.

Though clearly a big fan of the “law and order” president, Cortis was “riding dirty,” Detroit slang for people who illegally drive or drive with illegal substances in the car. From WWJ 950:

It happened Friday, as Rob Cortis — who has owned the “bridge” since 1985 — arrived in downtown Detroit where Trump supporters were converging on the TCF Center for an election protest.

WWJ’s Vickie Thomas said Cortis was taken into custody by officers on an outstanding warrant out of Canton, Michigan, on a charge of disturbing the peace, and for having an invalid license plate.

Police stopped Cortis downtown earlier in the week, and told him not to come back to Detroit until he got a valid plate. He left at that time, but came back Friday.

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Police let this joker go with a warning and he decided to press his luck! What an idiot. It’s not like he’s driving something inconspicuous that Detroit police would miss, as the Detroit News reports:

Detroit Police Sgt. Nicole Kirkwood, a spokeswoman for the department, said the vehicle was towed for violating traffic rules.

“He was blocking traffic and playing loud music yesterday, and we gave him a warning,” she said. “He was doing the same thing today so we investigated him and found he had an outstanding warrant out of (Canton Township) for disturbing the peace, so he was being arrested for that, and his vehicle was impounded.”

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Naturally, supporters of Cortis are mad police are doing their jobs and ticketing people who break the law, as they are pretty sure this is a lawless place. Really, they heard so on the TV. From the News:

“We watched for four years while our cities burned and they rioted,” said Audra Johnson. “But they’re bothering us for not using turn signals and they yelled at me for jay-walking.”

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I really wish these folks would make up their minds. Which is it? Detroit is a lawless hellhole where the cops have no control over Antifa-led America haters or the cops are reactionary over even the slightest infractions? They don’t seem able to decide even in the same sentence. Also, the cop is right to yell at you for jaywalking in Detroit. Even the downtown streets are four lanes wide! A freeway runs under TCF Center (formerly known as Cobo Hall) where the protests were taking place and just ends in the middle of downtown. It’s really fucking dangerous!

Ballot counting wrapped up Wednesday in Detroit, despite a group of Trump supporters trying to disrupt the proceedings. As of this writing, there are still groups of people milling around downtown shouting about stolen elections and making baseless accusations of voter fraud.

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As a Detroiter, I hope with all my heart this pro-Trump crowd all safely return to the suburbs from which they came. I hope they are so incensed they never step foot in the city again — not even for a Red Wings game. Really, I mean it.