What The Fuck Is Going On In This Audi Ad

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Okay. Black and white. Cool! Yuppies in a park. Alright! I’m on board.

POW! Man is hit in the neck by a ball, thrown by this apologetic dog owner who apparently isn’t the best at aiming. Or paying attention. It happens.

Man throws the ball away. Dog is thrilled that another Human has joined in on this game of fetch in the park. He brings the ball back to Man, hoping for another round of this fun, fun game.

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THE EVIL PLAN IS HATCHED.

Man looks around, spies a departing truck and takes aim.

WHAT? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? FUCK THIS GUY. WHO DOES THIS.

Look. Look at this face of pain and betrayal, while dog goes chasing after the truck, not knowing that dogs can rarely catch up to trucks.

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And then this smirk. Bastard’s looking right at you, breaking through that fourth wall without even giving it a second thought.

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This is the face of someone who just fucked over a dog. A dog.

And then he goes back to kissing his girlfriend or date or whoever she is.

Ladies and gentlemen, let me ask you something: would you continue making out with this piece of shit if he did what he just did right in front of you? I think I’d get up and leave—find a man who knows how to treat a dog nicely. Because you know what they say about being able to spot a bully: watch how they treat creatures smaller and weaker than themselves. That’ll tell you all you need to know about someone.

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I also don’t speak any German, but I sincerely hope this Audi ad was meant as a joke. Otherwise, what a horrible message: “Audi: We’re assholes.”