Ten Science Fiction Transportation Technologies That Make No Sense

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With sci-fi movies, it’s a given that almost everything will probably be out of the ordinary and completely irrational. But hey, that’s kind of the point, isn’t it? These ten sci-fi transportation technologies are straight-up out of this world.


10.) Futurama’s Transport Tubes

If cities like New York City could actually construct a vacuum-propelled tubular transportation system that could replace the Subway, I’m not sure if I would run toward it or away from it. If it were anywhere as gross as the Subway, the grossness would only be magnified by the close quarters of the tubes. Disgusting yes, but that would only be one of many potential problems.

Following the structure that is used in the Futurama episodes, these tubes would have to lead all over the city. Think of all the piping intersections, “tube stops”, possible congestions, and possible reliability issues a system like this could face. It sounds like complete hell.

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Suggested By: Titan-E34


9.) Harry Potter’s Hogwarts Express

It doesn’t exactly make sense to have a loud steam train travel miles and miles through the countryside and have their passengers board by walking through a brick wall if Hogwarts wants to stay low-key and secret. Then again, they are wizards in training. Maybe they could just whip up a spell or something.

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Suggested By: KomradKickass


8.) The Jetsons’ Spaceships

I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t want to live in a future without any sort of reasonable safety equipment. Especially if that future involves a bunch of tiny spacecrafts flying everywhere. Reader Goofnik can share some thoughts.

Safety devices like seatbelts? Nah, you don’t need those. You’ll just slam headfirst into a glass dome. Plus that whole potential to fall out of the sky thing.

I mean, do you even realize what’s on the ground when you wreck? Yeah. That’s right. Angry, hardcore cavemen cosplayers.

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Suggested By: Goofnik


7.) Star Wars AT-AT Walker

These “All Terrain Armored Transport” vehicles might not have too much of a problem getting around in adverse conditions, but what about when they’re in combat? Those 70 foot tall legs seem like they could be quite the target for an airborne enemy. And how do they not collapse under their own weight?

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Suggested By: Lumpy44, Photo Credit: Star Wars


6.) iRobot Audi RSQ Wheels

The Audi RSQ was Audi’s best attempt at product placement with a car that had to be set 30 years in the future. It wasn’t too bad by any means. Hell, you can even see a little bit of R8 in there if you squint hard enough. Thankfully, what didn’t make it to the R8 were those “super futuristic” spheres for wheels. Like, uh, what is traction?

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I guess they’re kinda cool. Maybe. Without them, Will Smith’s character probably wouldn’t have been able to pull off those sweet four wheel donuts toward the end of that clip. Or maybe he’s just losing traction and spinning uncontrollably. I can’t tell.

Suggested By: PatBateman


5.) Kitt’s Turbo Boost

Kitt’s turbo boost is kinda like a NOS boost, but instead of kicking you forward a bit in acceleration, the car just jumps and flies forward. How, I do not know. Reader Justin Hughes will tell us of his frustration.

I freely admit, I love Knight Rider, I love KITT, and much of the technology that was sci-fi in the 1980s has come true today. But as cool as it would be to turbo boost over your enemies, and as awesome as it looks on TV, it’s just not realistic. How does KITT do it? Jets? Turbines? Where are the exhaust ports directing the blast downward to launch the car into the air? And why does it look like a cleverly hidden (or sometimes not) ramp magically appears for KITT’s launches and often landings as well?

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Suggested By: Justin Hughes


4.) Futurama’s Planet Express Ship

Professor Farnsworth’s Planet Express Ship isn’t a masterpiece, but it is pretty good with getting all the parcel delivery and dangerous world-saving tasks done in a timely and relatively comfortable fashion. What I don’t understand is how the whole “the ship moves the universe around it” thing works.

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Yes that’s right. The Planet Express Ship doesn’t propel itself through space, it moves the universe around it. I can’t even conceive how something like that would be possible. What if there was another ship in the universe that used that kind of propulsion? It would have to cause issues if they were both in flight at the same time.

Also, it’s pretty crazy how Leela’s pet, Nibbler, just so happens to conveniently excrete dark matter. The same fuel that powers the ship. How awesome is that? I wish I had a dog that pooped 944 parts.

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Suggested By: DoYouEvenShift, Photo Credit: Futurama


3.) Star Trek Transporters

Completely destroy and deconstruct a body and then reconstruct it, all while risking death if just one atom is out of place? Nope nope nope!

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Suggested By: McSeanerson


2.) Total Recall’s Gravity Train

By using a gravity train like Total Recall’s The Fall, passengers would be able to be transported from one far end of the Earth to another within just a half hour’s time. That would be totally awesome, if it were actually feasible.

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Thanks to something called the Earth’s core, and very very hot liquid rocks that like to hang out in the center of the Earth, there’s basically no way infrozen Hell that something like this could work. Neat idea though!

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Suggested By: foxbody


1.) Wonder Woman’s Invisible Jet

Hey Wonder Woman, cool plane. Just a few questions. What’s the point of the exterior of the plane being transparent and invisible, if you and your occupants are still very much visible? Also, surely the aircraft would still show up on modern aviation radar. Also, can’t you fly on your own?

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This whole “invisible jet” thing just sounds like a novelty if you ask me.

Suggested By: CalBearsFan99

Welcome back to Answers of the Day - our daily Jalopnik feature where we take the best ten responses from the previous day’s Question of the Day and shine it up to show off. It’s by you and for you, the Jalopnik readers. Enjoy!

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Top Photo Credit: Pequod via YouTube