Finding a well-kept car on Craigslist isn’t the easiest thing in the world. For that you can probably thank the overpopulation of insanely crappy cars, like these 10 majestic crap-heaps.
10.) 1999 Honda Accord Coupe- $4500
Please, God, somebody, turn the damn Fast and Furious ricer knob down on this poor 1999 Honda Accord. $3500 “Lambo doors?” $5000 two tone paint job? You’re damn right it’s “a real head turner.” And not in a good way. I would stop and stare too if I came across this monstrosity on a public road.
Suggested By: willkinton247, Photo Credit: Craigslist
9.) 1991 Chevy S-10- $500
From the pictures, it doesn’t seem like there’s one clean, rust-free panel on the body of this 1991 Chevy S-10. If the body is in this awful condition, the frame and subframes don’t sound too promising either.
What good is a work truck if you need a new pair of pants each time you drive through a puddle? This thing is probably like a modern-day Flintstones car than a “perfect work truck.”
Suggested By: LikesCarsYouHate, Photo Credit: Craigslist
8.) 1997 Ford Thunderbird- $300
This 1997 Ford Thunderbird might not look too bad from the pictures, but please, just let the seller convince you otherwise.
This thing is garbage. It was garbage when I bought it 7 years ago and have done nothing but change the oil and put gas in it. It hasn’t died yet but is on it’s way out.
Battery is absolutely dead so you must jump start to run. Broken L/R window. Big dent in L/F fender. 3.8 liter V6 auto w/ 186,000 miles. Radiator has a crack in the plastic on the R/S so you have to fill with water every few days. Front brake rotors are warped but they will kind of slow you down.
This is not reliable. It will eventually strand you, the only question is when. Selling absolutely AS-IS with my only guarantee being you neighbors will hate it. Friends convinced me to try Craigslist before giving it to the junkyard. This car belongs in the junkyard. In my opinion it will not get you to Phoenix, Dallas, Los Angeles or St. Louis (the last time I sold a junker on here these were the questions I got). It might get you halfway down my street but no promises.
Comes with 2 good studded snow tires on rims, tire chains, one free jumpstart, one radiator top up and all the spare change left in the center console. Title in hand. $300 o.b.o. Just throw a few bills in my face and it becomes your problem. If you want it for some reason, please text Ryan.
Sign me up!
Suggested By: portlandon, Photo Credit: Craigslist
7.) 1994 Geo Metro- $200
Geo Metros are known to be rather unstoppable little buggers, but sometimes you just gotta learn to give up. Or at least throw a couple hundred dollars at it to replace the immensely rusted and damaged body panels.
“Hit a few deer?” A few? Damn. I saw a picture of new WRX after hitting only one deer, and that poor thing pretty looked toast. More power to you, little Metro.
Suggested By: ifonlyihadthemoney, Photo Credit: Craigslist
6.) 1994 Eagle Talon- $350
This 1994 Eagle Talon may not have a detailed Craigslist description, but that’s okay. Here, the pictures seem to tell most of the story. Either this thing was submerged underwater or stored in the middle of a forest for a decade or so, I couldn’t tell you for sure. But it sure as hell has not seen a car wash in any recent times.
Suggested By: GMart, Photo Credit: Craigslist
5.) 1991 Nissan Sentra- $300
Even back in its heyday, a 1991 Nissan Sentra wasn’t exactly the hottest thing to roll around in. And unfortunately, time hasn’t been good to this specific example. Severe body damage all around the front end makes this $300 Sentra one of the less desirable options in the used car spectrum, but that doesn’t mean it’s not roadworthy! Just slap a new radiator in there and you’ll (probably) be good to go!
Suggested By: blue72, Photo Credit: Craigslist
4.) 1995 Dodge Dakota- $500
If you’ve been in search for a rusted out mid-’90s Dodge Dakota with both an American and a Confederate flag strapped to the bed, and “MILFS ha ha ha” spray painted on the side, now’s your chance to swoop up on this deal of a lifetime.
It seems like the vehicle itself is not in totally undriveable condition, but from the looks of the vehicle and the insane scrawlings on the side, you might not live long enough to enjoy this sweet ride.
Features include: new belt (maybe serpentine, maybe one of the accessories), a bad alternator, a rebel flag, and the status associated with owning “one heck of a truck.”
Suggested By: drivesatruck_notaredneck, Photo Credit: Craigslist
3.) 1995 Geo Metro/Harley Tryke- $4000
Could we get this thing on Jason Drives? Surely the glorious readers of Jalopnik and numerous potential buyers are dying to know more about background of this unique machine and its creator.
Only a person of truly insane levels of batshit creativity could’ve thought to mate a Subaru transmission to a Harley-Davidson motor and slap that combination in the middle of a sliced in half Geo Metro. It’s craptastic!
Suggested By: Craigslist Ad Saver, Photo Credit: Craigslist
2.) 1989 Ford Bronco II- $300
From the looks of it, this Ford Bronco was probably just pulled from middle of a demolition derby field. But who’s to say that after a little differential work and tires, this can’t be someone’s next great off-road monster? I mean, it run, right?
Or maybe that’s not a great idea.
Suggested By: Ike B, Photo Credit: Craigslist
1.) 1994 Mitsubishi Mirage- $350
It’s like the harlequin of Mitsubishi Mirages! Just lacking fenders and some, uh, other minor body pieces. Who needs structural integrity anyways. Or brakes. At least not when you have a snazzy handbrake at the ready!
Is that 1738 spray painted onto the hood? Oh god.
Suggested By: Brian Silvestro, Photo Credit: Craigslist
Welcome back to Answers of the Day - our daily Jalopnik feature where we take the best ten responses from the previous day’s Question of the Day and shine it up to show off. It’s by you and for you, the Jalopnik readers. Enjoy!
Top Photo Credit: Craigslist