The 2017 Mercedes C-Class Coupe Is Long As Hell

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I said the Mercedes C300 is the luxury car I’d buy my mother, but I’m guessing she’d prefer the new coupe that Mercedes just revealed. It’s long. Like, longer than a Paul Eisenstein question long. This makes me happy.

Specifically, Mercedes says that it’s 2.4 inches longer than its predecessor. There are other stats about it, including that it’s got an engine that moves the vehicle at certain speeds over certain distances at certain times. I don’t particularly care and, frankly, neither do Mercedes C-Class coupe buyers.

What they care about is how it looks and how comfortable it is. The new Mercedes is probably comfortable because that’s what Mercedes sells, so let’s put that to the side. Just look at it.

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The last two generations of Mercedes C coupes left me as cold as week old sauerbraten left in the fridge. It was like the designers said “Ok, let’s take two doors off it and call it a day.”

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That’s now what Mercedes is supposed to do. They’re supposed to design doors so long they make James Deen jealous. Look at the W123. That’s some shit right there.

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So good on Mercedes for realizing that with a luxury coupe it’s not the motion of the AIRMATIC suspension it’s the size of the boat.


Contact the author at matt@jalopnik.com.