I think I have found the solution to America’s crumbling road and highway system: His name is Wanksy. He lives in England and he spray paints dicks on things. And by God, he gets things done.
The Huffington Post reports that Wanksy, who takes his name from the famous graffiti artist Banksy, has been going around Greater Manchester spray-painting dicks on the potholes that mark the city’s streets. He started his anonymous crusade after some cyclist friends got hurt on the potholes.
And wouldn’t you know that he’s actually succeeded in getting some of them fixed? It turns out that while cities are usually happy to let potholes just sit in the middle of the road and destroy our wheels and suspensions, they get a new sense of urgency when those potholes are covered in unsightly drawings of dicks and balls. Who knew?
A Manchester city spokesman had this to say in response:
“Has this person, for just one second, considered how families with young children must feel when they are confronted with these obscene symbols as they walk to school? Not only is this vandalism, but it’s also counter-productive,” the spokesman said. “Every penny that we have to spend cleaning off this graffiti is a penny less that we have to spend on actually repairing the potholes.”
I dunno, fix your potholes if you don’t want dicks all over them. This isn’t hard.
Now all we need is for Wanksy to come to the U.S. and spray paint dicks all over our horrible, decaying highway system. I bet we’ll find the money to get them up to snuff then. It’s funny how that works, isn’t it?
Here’s more of Wanksy’s artwork from his Facebook page:
Hat tip to Clever Username!