A man in Akron, Ohio has pooped on 19 cars parked in driveways in the last few days. Pooped. Like, out of his butt. I don't really know what else to say.
Police are on the lookout for the man, who has dropped a dook on 19 cars between 5:30 and 6:30 AM over the last several days. They say that he's done it over the course of several days, but hopefully it's more than just a few, since it can't be healthy to shit that much in just a couple days.
Police have been at a loss for what to do, but then there was a break in the case.
He was caught on camera with his pants down and bowels moving. What I mean is that he was taking a hot shit on the front of a second generation Neon.
If you have information on who this man is and what has inspired him to shit all over cars in the Akron area, call the Akron Police 330-275-2552.