Jersey City, in a place called New Jersey, wanted to deter speeders with some speedbumps. "Okay," the construction firm they hired said. "How about six inches high?" "No," the city replied. "It needs to be higher than that. Much, much higher." School busses flying through the air is the result.
It's just squeak, bang, crunch, crunch, bang, sqeak, crunch, SLAP, the whole way down.
One fine, upstanding motorist, in his sweetest New Jersey dialect, asked the real question we're all wondering, according to NJ.com:
"Oh my God, what moron did this?," said a man who identified himself only as Walter after driving his pickup truck over a speed bump on Erie Street near Eighth Street yesterday afternoon.
What moron indeed, Walter. The mountainous speedbumps are also the same color as the road, aiding in their wanton campaign of destruction.
For its part, the construction company says it's not to blame, that the city really did want the small replicas of Mount Everest higher than the recommended standard of six inches.
The speed bumps are so bad, in fact, that the city is now looking into lowering them.
But in the meantime, city officials said that drivers can file all the complaints and damage reports they want, but at the end of the day, the faceless bureaucracy that is local government is definitely not there to help out:
Drivers whose vehicles have been damaged by what many people are calling excessively high speed bumps in Jersey City can report the damage to the city, but officials issued a stern warning — "speeders will not be rewarded" and those who file a false claim will be prosecuted.
Speed bumps are the bane of your existence.
H/t to Allen!