Whataburger Is Better Than In-N-Out

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Most of the concern over Toyota's employees moving from California to Texas seems to not center around the traumas this might cause to uprooted families, but out of a concern over fast food. Specifically, Whataburger versus In-N-Out. Don't worry everyone, Whataburger is better, so that's a win.

Don't get me wrong, when I'm in California I usually go out of my way to get a little bit of double-double animal style in my life, but if one had to only have one place to eat at the rest of their life you'd be way better off with Whataburger than In-N-Out.

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Why?

Besides the fact that Whataburger is a stellar name and In-N-Out sounds like a drive-thru brothel (although Whataburger's "Just like you like it" tagline is equally suggestive), "choice" stands out as the most important factor. Though In-N-Out does everything it does well, it doesn't do that much. Burgers. Fries. Shakes. Drinks. That's it.

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And even with the not-so-secret menu there are maybe a hundred or so permutations. Whataburger gives you choices. 36,864 to be exact. And those choices are glorious and include extra crispy bacon and grilled jalapeños.

You can also get the always tasty breakfast taquitos, which is a thing they made up but is delicious. Whatacatch. Whatachicken. Whataeverayoufreakinawanta. They're constantly just making random shit up like the Honey BBQ Chicken Strip Sandwich served on a big ass piece of Texas Toast.

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The quality of both are roughly the same, though I do enjoy the "freshness" promised by In-N-Out, although the reality is once you fry something deeply it doesn't make as much of a difference.

Tastewise? I guess that's a matter of taste, but a jalapeño and cheese double Whataburger with grilled onions is hard to top, and nothing that In-N-Out brings that kind of heat or comes with a side of a green hulk drink.

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Also, nothing touches Whataburger ketchup. Nothing.

Anyways, this is a silly argument because in Plano there's a Whataburger that's about 14 minutes from an In-N-Out so…

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Oh damn, I just figured out why Toyota moved. Texas is the only state with both Whataburger and In-N-Out.

(And maybe Arizona, but who wants to move there?)